Tuesday, 24 December 2013

You Are Not Alone. 2013

So this is my last post for the next couple of days as it is Christmas eve.

A time for joy, family and happiness.

Sadly, not everyone experiences this at christmas and for some, this time can be a dark and lonely time or a time when emotions such as depression can be heightened.


You may be one of those people. You may have come across this blog post by chance, or someone may have forwarded it to you to read. 

Consider it fate. 

 I don't want you to feel alone this Christmas.

I don't want you to feel depressed or lonely.

If you feel that you have hit rock bottom and you feel empty inside, If you can see the lights twinkling in other peoples windows, hear the laughter of your neighbours and yet you experience no joy, as if the world is a dark place in which you see no place for yourself any more. 

Or if you feel that you are ready to make a change.

I want you to pick up the phone......................


 MIND
www.mind.org.uk

0300 123 3393

Samaritans
www.samaritans.org


Alcoholics Anonymous
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/newcomers

0845 769 7555

Stonewall
www.stonewall.org.uk

Info line 08000 50 20 20 


London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

0207 837 7324

SANELine

0845 767 8000

Preventing young suicide
www.papyrus-uk.org 


For people in Northern Ireland
www.lifeline.info

0808 808 8000


Childline
www.childline.org.uk 

0800 1111

Depressionalliance
www.depressionalliance.org

Refuge
www.refuge.org.uk

0808 2000 247

Eating Disorders Association
www.edauk.com 

0845 634 1414

Shelter

NHS Direct
www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk 

0845 4647

No Panic
www.no-panic.co.uk

0808 808 0545



If you need someone, please call one of these numbers. You are NOT alone over Christmas, there are people out there that care, I care. 


I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.


Love Always

Kellie (Big Fashionista)
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Thursday, 19 December 2013

It's My Birthday

No actual post attached to this at all, 

I just wanted to write that it was my birthday.

21..... Ish.


Ok, 38. Booooooo

Have a lovely day everyone, because I intend to.


Big Fashionista x x
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Monday, 16 December 2013

Oh Christmas Tree......



Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree,

Where are all your bloody needles?

For the first time EVER, I have a REAL Christmas tree. This is a big step for me, I got to pick a tree and watch a big metal thing reverse birth it into a netted bag at a garden centre, it was A-mazing.

We got it home, (after quite a few scratching of heads and a LOT of string) and placed the tree, pride of place in the living room and decorated it with loving care.



I remember that first night, looking at my beautiful tree with lights and baubles and tinsel, breathing in the soft green smell of it, thinking. WHY would anyone not have a real tree.

Two weeks later.

WHY THE HELL DID I BUY A REAL TREE?

It sheds needles worse than a dog sheds hair, there is genuinely not a room in the house where so far I have not found a needle that has fallen from the tree.

My hoover has gone on strike. it has been constipated with the needles twice and it makes a suspicious noise as if it is trying to electrocute itself rather than have to pick up any more needles.

Oh and my tree has an issue with remaining upright.

I have a base for it, but NO, it prefers the "flat out like a lizard drinking" pose. It is as if the tree is saying, YOU CANNOT CAGE ME, MAN, I AM A FREE TREE.

This tree also seems to have a nervous disposition, whenever you walk past it, it seems to jump, shed needles and spread baubles everywhere across the room. It also seems to have a pathological hatred of the 7yr old and tried to jump on her whenever she walks past it.

It also refuses to look good in pictures, it has a tilt to it that no amount of tying it to the wall can sort out. plus one side of the whole tree seems to be bald from diving head first into the floor (and the 7yr old)


Remind me again, Why did I buy a real tree?


And anyone else want to lay money on the fact that I will probably do it again next year?

ps, Anyone else want to take a guess which month in the year I will stop finding needles in the carpet?



Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Have Some Selfie Respect



Selfie's.


The word was added to the dictionary this year and as a lover of the Selfie, I get why this has happened. I for one, LOVE a selfie and when I am old and grey (checks watch, in about 2 years) I will flick through my selfies thinking, "Whooooaaaaaaaaa, you know what? you weren't half bad." (maybe, possibly)


But Selfie's at a memorial!

Show some selfie respect. 

Especially if you are the President or Prime Minister.

Does anyone truly think that the memorial of Nelson Mandela was a great place to smile and "say cheese"?

Because I bloody don't.

There is a time and a place for this sort of behaviour and a funeral or memorial is not one of them. Especially the memorial of a man such as Nelson Mandela.


What were Barack Obama, David Cameron and Helle Thorning-Schmidt THINKING? (apart from "this will look great on my instagram)

At least Michelle Obama had the grace to keep well out of it. Did anyone else think she looked as if she wanted to throttle Barack Obama at that moment? (Don't blame her) 

So what do you think about the Selfie pic taken at the memorial of Nelson Mandela?

A lack of respect or just a sign of how our standards have slipped over the last few years?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x



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Monday, 9 December 2013

The Gift I Don't Want You To Keep On Giving



So Christmas is fast approaching, I mean fast, really fast. (slightly scary, maybe I need to start shopping) and it is about this time when I start to think of all the presents out there that I really don't want my children to unwrap this christmas.

Whether you are a parent or the person giving a present, please pay close attention to the following safety announcement, (I'm talking your own safety here because if you give these to my children, I will throw a bitch fit.

Felt tips. 

For the love of God, no. Just no. There is not a parent out there that will ever thank you for buying felt tip pens for a toddler.

"Why do you hate me"? WILL be the words that go through my head if my little cherubs unwrap felt tips on christmas morning. Do you think I like the thought of raising miniature Banksy's?
Why do you hate me? Just why?


A Drum Kit.

You don't just hate me, you want me to suffer, Don't you?
The same goes for any instrument, unless you have suffered recorder practice you have no idea of the hell that is a musical instrument. If you are thinking about buying a child a musical instrument, ask yourself this. Would you be prepared to have it in your house and let my child come over and play it whenever they want. You wouldn't? Don't buy it then.


Plasticine.

Oh what did I ever do to you? Did I forget your birthday or something? Plasticine is fun, for five minutes, and then you spend the next month digging it out of the carpet, sofa, cups and forks. the bottom of shoes and everywhere that plasticine is not meant to be.


Anything With Bits.

You know, bits? I like baby dolls, but then why must they come with a bottle, a dummy, a small spoon and other little crappy bits that are going to get lost after two days. A garage? Fabulous, but then it comes with three cars, a small petrol pump, a little man, and other bits that will be stuck down the side of the sofa, never to be seen again. Take the bits out if needs be, or you will see me cry, and you don't want to see me cry, do you?


Must I remind you that Glue is a no-no? Because if I do, then I don't have a clue why we are still friends.

What presents do you  not want to see your child unwrapping on christmas morning? Or what presents will you buy for the offspring of a person you hate?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x


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Thursday, 5 December 2013

Adding A Link To An Old Post? Why I Just Won't Do It.



I have just received an email from a rather large beauty and bath product company that references a post I had written back in 2010 asking me to add a link to my review.

Er........

Er........

Hang on, is this a thing now?

Firstly, this is a product that I purchased myself, I liked the product and decided to share my discovery with readers of my blog.

Secondly, it was 2010. and NOW you want me to add a link? Well that is not covering yourself in Glory (cough)

Is this because the Googlebots will have trawled through those posts by now so SEO companies are now trying to get clever and outsmart Google by having links added to posts that have already been trawled by the Googlebots?

I am angry. The company involved have never worked with me before, and surely it would have been better if they had approached me trying to build a relationship with me and my blog from now, so that perhaps I would look to review their products again in the future.

Send me information of your latest releases, tempt me,.

Don't treat me like a one night stand you had a couple of years ago and now you want your dirty socks back that you left behind. Way to make a girl feel cheap and used. 

I am hearing that these approaches are on the increase (adding links, not asking for the dirty socks back) 

Frankly, it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth and I certainly will NOT be adding a link to the product like they wanted me to.


Bloggers, have you had approaches like this? What did you do in response?

Readers, What do you think I should do?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Gobstoppers, A Sweet Little Review

You may be mistaken for thinking that this is a review of a Kilner Jar.


um, an empty Kilner jar, (It's a good jar, make no mistake about that) but if I tell you that THIS jar once held SWEETIES, would you want to know more? 

Here's another picture of the jar. 



Want another one? 



Now I COULD show you this jar full of retro sweets, chocolates, and fudge. 

(But I ate them)

Or, instead, you could imagine this jar filled to the brim with all the sweets that YOU like. 

Why not check out http://www.thegobstopper.co.uk 

And tell me what YOU would fill your jars with. 

(In case you were interested, I had Black Jacks, Fruit Salads and Hard Gums. 

YUM.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Homesense, How Bizarre

I have never been to a HomeSense UK before today. There were not any near where I used to live in East London so I didn't realise until today that I was missing out. 

I was invited to go and take a look around HomeSense and really get a better idea of what it is they do. When I tweeted out that it was to be my first visit, I was inundated with people telling me how much I would enjoy it. (And to look out for a feathered polar bear) 

According to their Twitter Bio, "HomeSense is different because we offer quality homeware for up to 60% less everyday, we have an eclectic range of products to suit every taste!"


Yep, they had me at different. 

I could spend weeks in HomeSense, I was told how they dont have a warehouse, they just get deliveries from across the world daily and everything goes straight on the shelves so if you see something you want, BUY it. 

(As I walked in, a lady walked out with a wooden mannequin that I would have snapped up like a shot, but unfortunately there was only of them. Although there was an actual Tailor's dummy for sale as well) 

Some of the amazing things I spotted.









As I said in the title of this post. It truly is bizarre, or more accurately, like walking round a Bizarre, looking for treasure. I could have purchased so many things in there today and will be returning ASAP. (Multi-coloured giraffe, you may be mine) 

As it is, I picked up a Baylis and Harding gift set as a gift for someone. 

Oh and some hand warmers. 


If you've never been to a HomeSense Uk before then may I suggest you remedy that immediately, you can check them out online to find your nearest store http://www.homesense.com and if you HAVE been to a HomeSense before, I want to know what strange and wonderful things you have purchased there. 

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x 
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Fashion Advice Needed.

I have a dress, (well I have a lot, but this one is different. Well, new, oh shhhhhh) and I love this dress, I want to wear this dress to an event I have coming up soon but I am unsure how to dress it up. It is a gorgeous dress but I would call it one of those dresses you could either glam up or down. 

The dress came from Very, it's part of their Definitions range, which I am loving and may have to get my Christmas dress from there as well, take a look for yourself. http://www.very.co.uk/women/definitions/dresses/going-out-dresses/e/b/1663,4294958685.end 

And here is my dress, modelled by Tallulah so that you can get a better look at how it sits. I'm not even sure whether to wear thick black tights with it. 

HELP!!!


And the material in close up.


As you can see, the white sections are almost quilted. 


Talullah doing what she does best.


So tell me,

How would YOU style this dress for an evening event? 

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Let's Talk About Sex(uality) Baby



I am sure that there will be hundreds of posts like this around at the moment, but I like to think of this as my corner of the internet where I am able to discuss what I want to in a calm rational manner.

Tom Daley announcing on YouTube he has met someone who makes him happy and he just happens to be a guy, has been the talk of social media channels since it happened yesterday morning. And I am happy for him and anyone who has found love.

(What? you didn't think I would use this as an excuse to add a pic of Tom in speedos? Ha)

Everyone deserves to be in love with whoever they want to be. I for one will NEVER judge anyone's sexuality. But does it show how FAR we have come when a statement like this is made or does it show how far there is still to go in acceptance of peoples sexuality when someone like Tom has to make a public announcement AND it is one of the lead stories on news channels across the globe?


It is 2013 and I do think it is a shame that people are even asked about their sexuality. What happens next? Will people have to make a statement to the newspapers to announce that they are now 100% sure that this is the right time to share with the world that they are heterosexual? 

I know for a fact that there are people out there who struggle with their sexuality, does it help when someone like Tom Daley comes out of the closet? (personally I hate that term) or does it worry people that such a big deal is still made about it, in a time when it should just be accepted that people can love who they damn well choose and not have to feed a hungry media frenzy?

I really would love to know how people feel about this.

My opinion is, Love who you want to love, gender does not matter, if you love someone who makes you laugh, loves you back and makes you live, then hold on tight to that person and enjoy every moment. In 2013 someone's sexuality should not be an issue but I am glad that Tom Daley has the strength and support to be able to stand up and say, this is who I am with and who I am.


What do you think?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x


ps, No homophobic comments will be published, peddle your hatred elsewhere.



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Hotel Chocolate Festive Wreath Review.



If I ever want to spoil myself then I treat myself to Hotel Chocolat, If I want to spoil someone else, I let them share. (What? Sharing is caring) 

Hotel Chocolat come into their own at Christmas, perfect for giving as gifts, or for spoiling yourself, their range of Christmas gifts this year are superb.

Take a look.

http://www.hotelchocolat.com/uk/shop/christmas/xmas-gifts

I was asked if I would like to try one of the Festive Wreaths, (It's a bit like asking me if I would like to try oxygen) 

Er, YES, yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes. (Genuinely, that was my reply to the email sent) 

and this is the beautiful wreath.







Look at it, it is a thing of absolute beauty. and it is so heavy. it is solid chocolate, not hollow. and is covered in "nibbly cookies and handcut florentines"

Apparently, it is also,

"Perfect for slicing and sharing with friends and family"

(Does not compute)


I do recommend getting one of these, I um...... may need to get another one for christmas. whoops.


The festive wreath is available now from Hotel Chocolat and is priced £21.00





Big Fashionista x x x



*Product sent for review, my words as always, are all my own.





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Friday, 29 November 2013

Nigella, Victim Blaming and Shaming



So recently, allegations have been made that Nigella Lawson. Domestic Goddess is a drug addict, apparently smacked out of her tits on every substance she could get her hands on.

Former friends and acquaintances have come out of the woodwork to give their version of a Judas kiss and reaffirm in the media their "concern" for Nigella.

Alison Pearson has said that "No woman will envy Nigella now"

Personally I don't envy Nigella for having odious, vile people like Alison Pearson targeting her and trying to excuse domestic violence by insinuating a drug problem.

THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

A quote from Ms Pearson.


"What if a frustrated Charles was shaking his wife and saying, "Wake up woman! Look at what you are doing to yourself and our family"

BY THE THROAT? 

Shaking her by the throat? I can think of better ways to talk about this that doesn't involve wrapping your hands around someones throat. t suggest Ms Pearson revisits this statement as in the article she is excusing domestic violence and....

THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.



All of this sorry mess has come about due to two employees of Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi being in court charged with theft.

Their defence is that Nigella KNEW and gave permission for them to spend on the credit cards, in return for their silence about her drug habits.

Not being in full possession of the legal evidence in this ongoing case I will not comment further on whether they are innocent or guilty of this crime.

But there are many, many people out there who have voiced the opinion that this alleged drug habit has only now seen the light of day since the divorce between Charles Saatchi and Nigella Lawson.

How convenient, would Mr Charles Saatchi, who has made a career in advertising and PR know ANYTHING about this, we all wonder?

There certainly is an air of this being someone attempting to destroy the reputation of a woman who has worked long and hard at building her reputation as a "Domestic Goddess"

Who knows if any of this is true. I know that I would not have been able to go through what she has in her life without turning to medication if needed. Prescription drugs are not something to be ashamed of, depression is not something to be ashamed of.

In regards to illegal substances, who knows? All I can tell you is that if I was Nigella, I would be off my tits at every opportunity at the thought of living with Charles Saatchi, I'd be hoovering the white lines of the road if I thought it would help.

oh and,

THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

So if the media would kindly refrain from victim shaming, violence excusing and generally being arses, we can let this sorry state of affairs be dealt with by the courts, this is not a soap opera, it is the lives of people who deserve peace.

So what do you think? Is Nigella being unfairly treated by the media, what is your opinion on the media attempts to excuse domestic violence? How many grams would you have to take before sleeping with Charles Saatchi?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Thursday, 28 November 2013

Nom or Vom?

When this guy was first suggested to me for Nom or Vom I thought, "Well he's ok, I'm sure that out there are some people that will definitely find him attractive. I mean. I saw him in the Kanye, Bound spoof and he did nothing for me but, ya' know.........

Ohhhhhh MacFarlane, Not Rogen.

My bad.

Now I know who this guy IS, sure.

So without further ado,

Ladies and Gents I bring you....

Seth MacFarlane 







Funny and cute? And he can sing. 
(We just won't talk about him killing off major characters, ok?)

So, is he a Nom or a Vom?


Let me know. 


Big Fashionista x x 
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Peaches and Scream



Peaches Geldof, only a week or so ago she was taking on the likes of Katie Hopkins and with a calm and concise argument, she wiped the floor with her.

People who had written off Peaches as just another celebrity no-mark who brought nothing to the table were forced to reassess what they thought of here.

And then yesterday, she overstepped the mark.

She tweeted out the names of the women involved in the Ian Watkins case.

(Slow hand clap for Peaches)

The judges had given these women anonymity, but be under no illusion that he had done it for them, the judge imposed reporting restrictions on the names of these women to PROTECT THE CHILDREN.

The children that had already been let down by their own mothers in the worst possible way by being offered up to paedophile Ian Watkins, have now been let down by people wanting to be seen as "in the know"

Now, her defence, and other people who are defending Peaches Geldolf will also say, is that the names were out there already, anyone who wanted to search for them, could find them.

REALLY?

Does that make it ok?

Of course it doesn't.

And let us also take a minute to wonder if the names that she shared (and later deleted) were even correct, because let's face it, the media haven't exactly been full of shit hot journalism lately. (E Online)

Just today a man has been sentenced to life imprisonment for murdering a disabled man who had been wrongly accused of being a paedophile.

Do these women deserve their anonymity?

No, they don't.

But do the children involved deserve to be protected and kept safe, both now and in the future from any more harm.

Of COURSE they do, and if that means the mother's names are kept out of the news then that is what has to happen.

PEaches Geldof took it upon herself to appoint herself judge and jury when she spread those names to her 163,688 followers. Identifying the women, identifies the children.

And haven't they been through enough already?


What do you think?

Was Peaches right to share the names? What if the names were wrong? we have all seen that vigilantism is NOT the way to handle things in these cases. Should she be applauded, or reprimanded?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Tuesday, 26 November 2013

A Green Day to Dye



It is that time again, time to re-dye my hair.

I have had a terrible, terrible accident. 

Firstly, I had no Vaseline, rookie error, don't make it filthier than it sounds.

Then I only had one glove, (Sings Bob Marley, one glovvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeee)

Then to top it off, i'm pretty clumsy, uncoordinated and altogether someone who should not be allowed to play with green hair dye without adult supervision.

The gloveless hand looks as if I have been fingering Kermit! The hand that had the glove on is probably not much better but that was because I took off the glove, then forgetting that I had taken the glove off, piled my hair on my head!!!

See? Adult supervision needed at all times. 

I also have one green ear, it was suggested that I use nail varnish remover to remove the stains but I only have a pot of Bourjois Magic Nail polish remover in the house and my ear just will not fit in the pot!!!

At one stage, the towel fell off my head and my hair slid down my back, meaning that, if I could actually see my back, I now imagine it looks as if I have SQUISHED Kermit and his innards are now outtards dripping town my back.

And let us not even TALK about how my scalp looks. (or the front of my head) 

This may be a job for a very heave foundation today, or a HUGE hat. (Or possibly both) 

Poor Kermit truly has been put throughout the ringer. (Literally, through a ringer until he couldn't take it anymore and he exploded across my bathroom)  (Unless you are my landlord, in which case, I am the BEST at applying hair dye, honest) 

I suppose that dyeing my hair green is still better than dyeing it red, that clear up is HEAVY duty, I always l end up looking as if I have some serious scalding going on when I dye my hair red, and my bathroom looks as if I have murdered someone. (The landlord stopped reading, didn't they?)

So give me YOUR tips for home dyeing. How do you stop yourself from looking as if you are a toddler who has been let loose in the paint cupboard. (No Landlord, there is not a paint cupboard) 

Give me your tips and tricks.

And can someone warn Kermit that he might want to ring a few people, just to let them know he is ok?



Thanks.


Big Fashionista x x
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Monday, 25 November 2013

Rakuten Play.com review



I have to admit, I haven't used Rakuten Play.com for years, I was still under the illusion that they just sold CDs, games and DVDs but oh my gosh, I was completely wrong.

I was asked to review the Rakuten Play.com experience from the viewpoint of a customer and given points to spend online, which I thought would be easy, a couple of DVDs, maybe a copy of the latest Now CD.

Instead I was ushered into a world of jumpers, SHOES, books and annuals which means I have completed quite a bit of my christmas shopping already.

(It's not even December, this for me is remarkably organised!!!)

I can't show you a lot of the things that I have purchased, because I am sure no-one wants their christmas surprises ruined, but I was completely surprised at the huge range available. ANYTHING that you want, you can now find, they are the gateway to the internet and another great thing is that Normal delivery is free, so if you happened to pick up something like a skull bracelet, for just £2.49,


you aren't going to end up spending the same amount again on postage.

My only issue with the Play.com service is the fact that where I ended up ordering 11 items, my inbox practically exploded, I got separate confirmation emails for each item, then when each item was ready to be despatched, then when the items were despatched. it wasn't a huge problem and I actually cannot think of a way around it, but if I ever placed another large order, I would be dreading the emails coming through again.



Overall, the Rakuten Play.com experience was a great one. it has opened my eyes to the fact that there is a whole new shopping experience available and next time, when I am searching places like Ebay or Amazon for presents, I will definitely be checking them out too.


Have you used Rakuten Play.com before?

What do you think of the shopping experience?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x


*Review
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Keeping Warm With Heat Holders - Review



I live in a beautiful part of Yorkshire, so beautiful that it makes my heart sing every time I leave the house, I have incredible views, beautiful valleys all around and fields to run through as if I am an extra in Little House On The Prairie.

When I moved in September, it was Autumn, a beautiful season where the leaves turn beautiful colours of red and gold and the skies are usually blue.

Now it is winter.

I may die.

This is no exaggeration, I am freezing, I thought I knew what cold was, Oh how I laugh at the person who thought they were cold. NOW I am acquainted with cold. (although if I tell anyone here that I am cold, they give me this raised eyebrow and just say, "This? This is just a bit chilly. Wait till winter")

SEE, there is a strong chance I may die.

I have NEVER in my life worn thermals before but when Heat Holders asked me if I would like to review some of their thermal range, I grabbed the chance like a drowning man grabbing a piece of debris.

I knew that www.heatholders.com were great for socks, what I didn't know is that they also do thermal leggings, TIGHTS, hats, gloves and tops.

I was sent out a pair of leggings to try and a thermal top. the sizings are extremely good on these, the Small/Medium is a 6-14 and a Large/X Large is 16-22.

review heat holders


(we are just going to pretend that is my body, ok?) 

So I thermalled myself up, (What? It is totally a word)  and took myself off for a long walk in the valley, and you know what? I was warm. WHY was I not aware that thermals were awesome before this?

I was always of the opinion that Thermals were something that old people wear. I am a TOTAL convert now. In fact, since trying out the vest and leggings I have purchased some Heat Holder socks which have a tog rating of 2.34 compared to basic cotton socks which are 0.33 and now cold toes are just a memory.

review, heat holders


Go and check out www.heatholders.com and I want to know whether you are a fan of thermals or not.
Am I the only one who didn't realise how cool thermals now are?

Or should that be, how WARM thermals are?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Where's The Sisterhood At? - Guest post.



I love guest post here at Big Fashionista, ESPECIALLY when they are as brilliant as this. 

I agree with so much of what Halima from www.fashioncide.com says here, and I know we would both love to hear your opinions on her views.

Let us know. 

Big Fashionista x x x



Where's the Sisterhood At?

The word 'Feminist' or 'Feminism' is often succeeded by a bit of a groan, or preceded by a derogatory adjective or two. But it really shouldn't be that way, after all if you check out the dictionary it defines Feminism as:

The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.”

Doesn't sound altogether unreasonable does it? It would be very easy to blame the negative connotations attached to Feminism completely on our Male friends, but I don't think it's quite as simple, or constructive at all, to point the finger of blame squarely in a man's face. No, I think the blame lies with females. Not all females of course, most of want equality for the sexes but we all tend to act on that in different ways.

That in itself is no bad thing, but there is a bit of a poison running straight through the heart of global sisterhood and it threatens to derail our bid for equality. Before I talk about that though, I think it's important to clarify that while progress has been made on gender equality, there is an awful long way to go on that front. One of the most commonly talked about measures of this is of course the gender pay gap, this article in the Guardian from 7th November 2013 highlights the fact that gender is a discriminatory factor in remuneration.

The gender pay gap is a 'hard and fast' measure of the inequality women face in today's world, yes thatis 2013. The more important measures to me are a lot softer, and a lot more difficult to quantify beyond doubt. How one goes about doing that for things like 'Is my opinion in the workplace respected?' or 'Do I feel safe enough to go out alone late at night?' is beyond me. Personally, it'd be nice to know that women are paid the same as their male counterparts, but I'd much prefer the knowledge that it'd be safe to go out at night, that I could speak up in the workplace, that women's semi-naked bodies are not used to sell toilet seats.

Back to the topic at hand, what's this poison I'm talking of? Envy, or Jealousy. Call it what you will. I'm talking of jealousy between women, not jealousy of how good men have it in today's world. No, I mean sisters being jealous of their fellow sisters. How is this poisoning the feminist movement? I hear you ask. Well consider this, what does jealousy lead to? It can lead us down one of several paths, dangerous paths that only cause damage to our cause.

One path this can lead us along hurts individuals, where the jealous woman tries to bring the other down a peg or two, to ruin her confidence, to ostracise her, to destroy her. This can happen to any of us and without warning. Women turning against other women, instead of directing their ire to the injustices we face in society every day, they turn against their own as a short-term fix for whatever woes they experience.

To those women I ask:

How can we ever hope to defeat the injustice of a male-dominated society, if we are too busy fighting amongst ourselves?”

With great difficulty.

So why do some women resort to this? Well, they are either blind to the injustice or they are too weak and impatient to fight it, instead focusing on a more achievable aim of destroying a single person, as opposed to working towards cultural change. I should know, I've been on the receiving end of this kind of vile behaviour recently and it's actually flabbergasting the lengths to which these individuals resort in order to hurt their fellow woman. They are like vampires that feed on confidence and vibrance, attempting to suck the very life out of you.

The woman that targeted me started off nice enough but began to become just a bit too comfortable with me revealing some dark personality traits, a tendency for violent aggression when she didn't get exactly what she wanted, a self-centred view of the world and a deep, penetrative jealousy. As I began to earn more success, she stood still and this was evident in her attitude towards me. Ignoring me, acting as if she didn't know me, excluding me yet at the same time emulating me, trying to be more like me.

It was venomous, so I questioned her and the reaction was harsh, abrupt and unwilling to self-evaluate, turning it around as if I were the evil one and she were the poor harmless victim. Then she began talking about me behind my back, spreading lies and rumours about me. Trying to ruin me, trying to destroy me. Where's the sisterhood, what sort of world are we in where women can't be civil or respond in an adult manner with each other?

That leaves the other path, and this path is the one that harms feminism the most. This path takes us down the path of competition, competing with our sisters to outdo each other. Competing to hog the limelight. Competing to show that 'I'm a more hardcore feminist than you'. Competition in itself is of course no bad thing, but it's a decidedly masculine quality to allow competition to rule our very being.

The first problem with such fierce competition is that it takes our focus away from the end goal of gender equality, instead focusing on beating each other, and the second problem is that it de-legitimises our own cause. This is what causes people to put those derogatory adjectives in front of Feminism or to groan after it. It gives anti-feminists ample ammunition to dismiss our cause or even flat out deny that sexism even exists.

The truth is, sexism does exist. The greatest enemy of equality whether that be gender, colour, creed, age, disability, nationality or otherwise is the white man. The white man rules this world with an iron fist, and the best way to maintain power is by using divide and conquer tactics. It prevents the oppressed majority from joining forces to defeat the oppressing minority, and flicking back through the annuls of history show us how devastatingly effective this has been, and continues to be.

If we are to achieve true equality with our male counterparts, we need to stick together. We need to eradicate the jealousy, the hatred and the competition within ourselves and take that fight to those that seek to dominate us. Otherwise, we'll continue to be objects to be used and discarded as and when men feel like it.

Halima. 

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Saver or Splurger?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my financial security. I am a single parent with not a lot of spare cash and I am trying to find a way to utilize every penny I can and start teaching my children about savings and being responsible with money. One of the ways that you can do this is with an ISA and currently I am trying to work out the options for ISA's

I still think that even thinking about something like an ISA means I am a “grown up” and I can’t be alone in feeling as if “saving” is something that your parents would do and not you.

I feel as if it is a responsibility, like a puppy you get as a present, and now you have to take care of it,  feed it and nourish it so that it grows.

I can’t even take responsibility for a pot plant. I am just not ready.

Saving seems so grown up, what if I take on an ISA and we just don’t get along? It rebels and runs away?  Or  worse, it hates me?

SEE? Perhaps I should start with a piggy bank or something?

But in all seriousness, I do worry about my future and think that now is the time to step up and start putting money away for a rainy day, and even start thinking about ISAs for my children, so that perhaps they do not feel the same way about their financial security in the future as I do. It would be kind of nice to think that I am taking responsibility for the financial future of my children not only in monetary terms but also by teaching them to be financially responsible.

I wish I could be the sort of person that doesn’t worry about the future, but perhaps that is part of the problem we as a society find ourselves facing right now. We have to start thinking of ourselves in the future and stop thinking that there is always going to be someone or something out there that will look after us  in our old age. More and more people these days are finding out that that is simply not true anymore.

But what about you? Are you a saver or a splurger? Do you put off thinking about the future as “something will come up”? Or were you taught at an early age to be financially responsible?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x


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Friday, 15 November 2013

Body Shaming by Superdrug




Before I go into the details, I want to say this. I have curves. A shed load of curves, even my curves have curves and yet I am STILL against any type of affirmation that puts down one group of people to make another group feel better. 

Yesterday it was brought to my attention that Superdrug had posted this picture on their Facebook page.


Firstly, let's not even start on the use of the word girls. 

Secondly, Hello, body shaming much?

So I posted this on their page. 


After approx 60 people pressed "Like" the whole post was quietly removed by Superdrug without a word.

No apology, just a quiet removal. 

So I posted again on their page asking if they were going to apologise for their body shaming. 

And this morning, found this reply.


I do not even want to discuss the smiley face at the end, why not just add the word, LOL at the end and have done with it?


THAT'S not an apology for body shaming, for alienating a type of woman and trying to make them feel that they aren't as good as another? 

That is a damn sorry excuse of an apology and I don't think it runs true. 

I have now posted again on their page. 


I would love your thoughts on this, and I am SURE Superdrug would too.

So let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x

*UPDATE*

So at 1pm this came through on Twitter.


And then 5 minutes ago this was on my comment on the Facebook wall.


I am frustrated. I think if they were serious about their apology then it would go out to everyone and not just be hidden away in a comment. I also find it hard to believe they celebrate ALL body types by saying that ones with curves are best. 

What do you think?
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Thursday, 14 November 2013

Nom or Vom

I don't even know who this guy is!!!

He could stamp on puppies for a living for all I know.

I jest, apparently he is a rugby player.


But this guy was suggested for Nom or Vom during the week by Nicola Anna https://twitter.com/NicolaAnna_ and you know how I take my research of Nom or Vom extremely seriously so I have been studying pictures of him constantly to make sure he is suitable.

It's a hard job and all that.

So without further ado, I bring you this weeks Nom or Vom and he is.....

Nick Youngquest.








I have studied this picture REALLY hard!




So, ladies and gentlemen, what do you think of Nick Youngquest? Would you want to scrum with him? 

Play with his balls?

Nom or Vom?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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The Gift That Never Gave



We all have one, the gift that, as a child, you REALLY hoped you would receive. You wanted it so badly that nothing else mattered.

And then you didn't get it.

Oh the pain. 

Now I'm sure, that over the years, that pain has faded down to a dull ache, but occasionally you remember that gift that you never got, and wonder if your life would have been better if you had got it.

For Claire, from http://ninjakillercat.co.uk it was a Mr Frosty Maker. 

For @LadyTubeDriver it was a cabbage patch doll.


For me, it was a puppy, not a real one let me add, just one that did backwards somersaults and barked and moved. 

But how about you?

What is the Christmas gift that you desperately wanted and never got?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x 
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McBusted? Busted Fly? Supergroups you would love to see happen.


Watch out One Direction, there is a new Supergroup, put together by someone else to basically make money  for your entertainment.

McBusted.

Firstly, Has anyone spoken to McDonalds about this? Are they ok with this? (and has anyone else had a hankering for a Quarterpounder with cheese since hearing the announcement? Just me then?) 

Secondly, McBusted?

Was that the BEST they could come up with?

I am not impressed.

They could have had SO much fun with it.

So I decided to instead.

WHAT IF..... other groups out there decided to get together and forma supergroup and combined their names.

First we would have to have a collaboration between Lady Gaga and Savage Garden..(Think about it)

LADY GARDEN.

How about Big Country and Fleetwood Mac?

Big Mac


Something for the Facebook fans amongst you,

Why not join together Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Chase & Status to create

Red Hot Status



Can you think of any singers or groups you would like to see get together just to make an amusing name?


Let your imagination run free and let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x



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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

And I Tripped And Fell And Landed On Youtube



Ok, next time I promise I will wear make-up but I have decided to join the Vlog revolution.

I don't have a CLUE what I am doing, and I sound like a chav, but you know what?

It's a bit of fun.

Go check me out.


Big Fashionista x x x x


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAnTCMQgGLA
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Is Mental Illness "Fashionable"?





I'm sorry Mr Oddie, but I am going to have to stop you right there.

"Celebrities make mental illness fashionable"?

I disagree, and here is why I do so.

Firstly, I am yet to see a celebrity talking about how they lost 30lb on the mental illness diet and have never looked back, or that their hair and skin is so shiny and glossy because they use...Mental illness.

Instead what I am seeing generally, is people in a position to be able to use a platform that they have been granted to help stamp out the stigma attached to mental illness. If someone is suffering in silence from a mental illness, then they have been let down. Because despite the attempts of places such as Asda, Thorpe Park, Tesco and Amazon, Mental illness is slowly becoming less of a dirty word.

But that doesn't mean we are there yet. Which is why every time someone speaks up about their experiences with mental illness, I say a little thank you for their courage, If someone who is a role model to others, stands up and says, "You know what, I too am like you, I have experienced things that are dark, scary and every day I battle my demons to keep on going" then how on earth is that making Mental Health fashionable? That is just showing someone that they are not alone, someone out there knows exactly what they are going through, and either they are still struggling, but keeping going or they are showing that there is hope, things can improve, and yes, maybe a celebrity will also slip back into a previous depression or other mental illness but when they are open and honest and sharing these issues then other people will hopefully have less shame.

I feel sad that Bill Oddie does not feel this way too. He also says has stepped back from his work with a bipolar charity and feels that people have made a career out of mental illness,

People like Stephen Fry and Ruby Wax and others with a platform have also, in my opinion saved a lot of lives by sharing their stories.

He says normal people cannot relate to celebrities having mental illness?

I beg to differ

I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x
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Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Google+ Circles Of Hell

Ok, I admit it, I am possibly NOT the most technically savvy person out there. My children have more knowledge about the world of computers than I do, and I include my 7yr old in that sweeping statement as well.

HOWEVER. I know my way around social media, and all the social media tools.

I'm like a teenage girl when it comes to knowing how to communicate with you.

BUT Google+ has me stumped.

I've tried. Oh my God how I have tried. I put people in little circles, all the time, feeling as if it is I who has been dropped into a circle of hell from which there is no escape.

If you have Google+ comments on your blog, then I am sorry, I have not yet worked out how the hell I am meant to comment on your site.

Google it seems are trying to push everyone towards Google+ like a well meaning grandparent towards the next-door neighbours ugly son. (It isn't the best at doing the job, but you know what? It's there, and you are fucked if you do, and fucked if you don't) 

I plus one things, and yet I am still not sure what that actually does. Is it a "like" or god forbid, a "poke" (Pokes are so 2012)

If I share things with my circles, are there people in other circles who they can then share it with? Do they do this? WHY? Are they talking about me behind my back?

It is like being back in school!!!!  I don't know what circle I am meant to fit into. Perhaps I don't want to fit into a circle. perhaps I want to be square, or a Rhombus. (Rhombus is an awesome word, try it) 

Surely I cannot be the only one who doesn't get Google + and all it is about?

And now Youtube are accepting Google+ comments too?

TOO MUCH GOOGLE, GOOGLE EVERYWHERE.

Am I alone in not understanding Google+ or is it one of those things that we are all doing and yet don't have a clue what it is actually about?


Let me know.

PS, I don't not fail to see the irony of me Google +'ing this post.



Big Fashionista x x x



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