Monday, 25 March 2013

A Fashion Guest Post.


A week or so ago I put out a call for some guest posts as I fancied a couple of days blog free, the lovely Hannah from http://www.betwixtbeauty.com was the first out of the blocks and her guest post made me laugh so hard I had to share it with you all today. Enjoy the post and if you love what you read, don't forget to leave Hannah a comment and go and check out her blog as well.


Have a happy Monday everyone.


Big Fashionista x x







How to fashion blog – the REAL story

For all you aspiring fashion bloggers out there, I thought I'd help you out and let you know how the process works. Here it is:

Start looking for a dress for a wedding, get sidetracked, see flowery daytime number on ASOS and fall in love. Dither about because normally £38 would get you two or three dresses. Save the link and decide to leave it and see if you can find a discount code.

Two days later: Get an email from ASOS proclaiming: SALE! Go to site and see that dress is reduced. Shout: 'Huzzah!' Resolve to buy it later as you're supposed to be working. Forget all about it until the next evening and then buy it for the princely sum of £30. Cross fingers and hope that a 'medium' fits over your massive arse but doesn't flap around your teeny boobs.

Dress turns up three days later. Quickly try it on over your vest and decide that it's a bit big round the top but just about fits as long as you haven't eaten Dominos the night before.

A week later, remember you were going to blog it but have been wearing a hoody and Uggs because it's so hideously cold. Wait for the snow to pass.

Two weeks later, get dressed in your usual layers that you've lived in since November, making sure to tuck thermal vest into thermal tights and thermal top into thermal leggings. Add dress. Go to work and resolve to rush home and grab some pictures in daylight hours. End up getting home at 7pm and eat Dominos.

Two days later, when pizza bloat has worn off, wear same outfit. Rush home to get pictures at 6pm before light disappears completely. Balance a table on a chair in the garden and spend half an hour setting the camera to self-time and rushing to the other side of the garden and back while you look at the floor, pout and flip your hair with one hand on your hip while trying to look seductive and still keeping an eye out for the neighbours wondering what the fudge you're up to. Dash back inside to grab some jewellery so it looks like you wear accessories. It starts to rain. Dash back inside again to chuck on a bit of mascara and lippy so it looks like you wear makeup and actually have eyes. Spend another half an hour with hand on hip and trying to look as thin as possible and until it's raining too much and you have to call it a day.

After you've cooked dinner, washed up, put some washing on and changed into your slanket, review photos and find that almost all of them make you look like a fat trout. Spend three hours going through 483 images deleting the trash and finding some that look OKish. Give up and go to bed.

Next day, pick the six where you don't look completely like a whale and spend 2 hours editing the light levels and trying to Photoshop out that spot in the middle of your forehead in Microsoft Paint. Finally, at 3am in the morning, upload the pics to your blog once Blogger decides to let you. Write OOTD in the post title and laugh morosely to yourself at the irony. Save the post as draft and go to bed.

Next evening after work, open the draft add all the details of where you bought the clothes. Hope no one laughs at your middle-aged low wedged boots from M&S and wish you owned a pair of Louboutins or Kurt Geigers and press 'Publish'. DONE!

In the morning, log back on to make sure comment moderation is switched on so you can filter out the comments asking why you look like a fish or if you have a problem standing on two legs without your hands glued onto your hips like a normal person. Plan your next post and wonder if it should be called 'OOTM'...

Hannah xxx



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7 comments

  1. LOL. Love it, so true.

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  2. " Spend three hours going through 483 images deleting the trash and finding some that look OKish. Give up and go to bed."

    THAT!

    And I don't even blog about fashion, or anything much really (worlds worst person with a blog ;) )

    LOVE this post x

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  3. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this, love how real it is xx

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  4. Haha I dont do OOTD, I dont think I ever look glam enough to upload what I wear Mon-Fri... but I laughed reading this as I can imagine that is exactly what it is like!

    Jen xx
    http://kitsch-n-sync.blogspot.com

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  5. Finally, the truth!! Love it.

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  6. Oh this made me laugh - great post - I like the fact we now know the truth behind the pictures!

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  7. Love your hilarious truth. It made me chuckle out loud.

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