Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Open Season On Festival Season.



So the sun comes out,

(Let's not get too used to it just yet. I mean, It's June, it isn't as if it is summer or anything....... oh)

And now talk turns to FESTIVAL SEASON.





Nothing, I mean NOTHING, bores me more than talk of "Festival Season" 

(Hashtag Festival Fashion, Hashtag FUCK OFF) 

From, 'Get The Festival Look' to "What To Wear To Stand Out From The Crowd" to people going on and on and on about who they are going to see, who they saw (Or couldn't see because they were vomiting round the back of a........ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) everything gets the word 'Festival' plonked in front on it and suddenly it is achingly cool. 

Well I'm sorry, but like The Daily Mail, I ain't buying it. 

Festivals are MAINLY hype. I love the idea of a festival, but I would love it more if everyone else hated it and I was one of just a few people who attended. I'm not greedy, a couple of hundred at Glastonbury would be just about right for me. I could wander from one stage to another, SEEING who I wanted to see, there would be no queues for the toilets and hopefully some Andrex (other brands of toilet paper also available) 

I would also like it more if I could look achingly cool at a festival, denim cut-offs, vest top, and Hunters (Other brands of wellin... Oh who am I kidding) but instead I would just look like I was an ancient try-hard, and a sweaty mess as well. (Plus these legs are not really built for cut-offs) 

I'm 37 years old, I want comfort, Can I wear my slippers at a festival? (I probably can, can't I?) Do they serve a good wine? Ice cold and the right year? These things are important to me, plus If I do need a quick bathroom break, can the group that are currently playing take a two minute break and wait for me to come back?

I think not. 


So the big festivals are not really for me, I will stay achingly UNCOOL and just nod along when people say that they are really looking forward to festival season. I will watch on BBC3 in my slippers, and pause it when I need to quickly go to the toilet and be all smug when I can use enough toilet paper to wrap a small bungalow. 

I may not be cool, but I'm comfortable, and I think that has to count for something....

Right?


What do you think? 

Are YOU looking forward to festival season? Are you going to any this year or are you like me and can't really see the attraction of wiping your lady garden with your hand and sleeping on a partially deflated air-bed? 


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x

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12 comments

  1. I used to go to festivals, until suddenly everyone appeared to be 14 and be running on Energizer batteries and crack cocaine. However, I have a good few years of festivals behind me, with some suitably shocking horror stories to share.

    The one to top them all? I passed out in a pile of my own (luminous yellow) vomit and got shipped off to the pits at Donington to see the lovely St Johns Ambulance people, where I wafted in and out of consciousness all day after a breakfast cocktail of absinthe, various shots of Aftershock and a few Smirnoff Ices.

    I was roused to life on hearing the first few drum beats of Metallica, and hobbled all the way back to the crowd (I'd fallen down a hole and sprained my ankle just before passing out) to get my one-legged rawk on.

    Now I'd sooner cheese grate my labia then rub in some habanero chilli than do Download. Meh. Hashtag fucking old.

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  2. I've done the bigger festivals and hated pretty much every minute when I'm not enjoying a good band playing their best music, the bits in between have always been a bit shit.
    I'm not a big drinker so the idea of people going to a festival to get wasted has never appealed to me.

    That said, some of the smaller festivals can be most enjoyable, they have a family vibe, good music and stuff to do in between, they're my absolute favourite festivals and I always have a good time.
    It is what you make it, unfortunately with the bigger festivals, other people are what ruin it.

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  3. I love a festival, and was lucky enough to get away without paying for donkeys years on account of getting to play at them, but these days I would have to fork out several hundred quid for taking the 5 of us some family festivals, and I frankly am not paying that much money to have to share a field with Mr Tumble.

    As for the overuse of the word festival, it is nothing new, I remember our drummer getting so bugged by it ten years ago or so that he uttered the never to be forgotten line 'I am going for a festival piss out of my festival cock'

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  4. The only festival I ever bothered with was the late, lamented (possibly only by me) Bristol Community Festival. No camping, 2 days in a field on the edge of Bristol. Free entry, and pretty much no-one you've ever heard of except for 1 headline act. Getting pissed in a field with a soundtrack of pub bands, basically. But I'm old now.

    I live close enough to hear the "dulcet tones" of Merthyr Rock from my back garden, and that's close enough, because I still have a clean toilet & my own bed. I am not paying £30 a day to go to my local park & not know who any of the bands are. I'm too old to pretend I've heard of anyone any more, my taste in music stopped in 1992.

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  5. I used to go to 8 or 9 a year. All over Europe! I loved them. Now I don't. I only go if I'm being paid £22+ an hour to look after the drunks! I also need a private shower and private camping with hot meals provided free! I get that at 3 festivals this years so at £750 a pop, I LOVE FESTIVALS.

    A muddy field? No thanks. Slippers a go-go! X

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  6. Living opposite Viccy park, I get the immense pleasure of hearing EVERY SHITTY FESTIVAL they put on.

    I hate it.

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  7. Have never been to a music festival although every year I wanted to go to T in the Park I never did. I'm put off by the mud, and dirt, and other people, and bands I've never heard of, and mud, and manky toilets and mud. Plus I've seen the photos of TITP when it was pissing down a few years ago - no thank you. Quite proud to say I'm 28 and have never been to a festival!

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  8. Used to love em. Played a few (ooo get me ;-) ) got drunk at many more, had my boots nicked at Glastonbury '93, possibly got sunstroke too.
    Then grew up and am now happy to stay home looking achingly uncool (which must be cooler than cool right?) and watch the good bits on tv and leave the traipsing about in mud/overheating in tent/avoiding the toilets for 4 days to the young 'uns...

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  9. I LOVE FESTIVALS SO MUCH. First one was Reading 1989. I've been to at least one festival a year, just about every year since. My favourite is Glastonbury just because of the sheer scale and range of the place, and the excellent atmosphere. Yes, I'm probably a bit too old for it all by now. No, I don't care about that.

    But yeah, I can see they're not for everyone. It can be a bit overwhelming and if there are any cracks at all in your relationship with the idea, it's easy to fall out altogether.

    But you're right. The colour supplement articles (where the Sunday Express starts telling people how it's going to be or what to wear) are universally AWFUL.

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  10. I’m 31 next month and am going to my seventh Glastonbury this year. I don’t feel too old or too tired or too fat (even though I am not made for cut offs either!). Honestly – I wish Glastonbury was a bit less busy, and I am praying it won’t rain, but even when I can’t remember what it feels like to be warm and dry and sleep on a proper mattress, I’m still having the best time that I’ve had all year. The bad bits of festivals are so bad – portaloos, long drops, camping (I bloody hate camping) that the good bits of festivals have to be OUTSTANDING to make up for it. And they do. I adore Glastonbury. It’s a great mix of people (most of whom are rolling their eyes at the Kate Moss clones, some of which even stuck to their shorts & Hunter wellies uniform in blazing sunshine because that’s just what you DO… they must have been boiling!), there’s always tons to do and the atmosphere is so friendly and welcoming. Even when it’s pouring with rain and muddy, we’re all in it together and that creates a sense of community. We all look like shit, so why care? Nope. I can’t imagine ever growing out of Glastonbury.

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  11. I’m 31 next month and am going to my seventh Glastonbury this year. I don’t feel too old or too tired or too fat (even though I am not made for cut offs either!). Honestly – I wish Glastonbury was a bit less busy, and I am praying it won’t rain, but even when I can’t remember what it feels like to be warm and dry and sleep on a proper mattress, I’m still having the best time that I’ve had all year. The bad bits of festivals are so bad – portaloos, long drops, camping (I bloody hate camping) that the good bits of festivals have to be OUTSTANDING to make up for it. And they do. I adore Glastonbury. It’s a great mix of people (most of whom are rolling their eyes at the Kate Moss clones, some of which even stuck to their shorts & Hunter wellies uniform in blazing sunshine because that’s just what you DO… they must have been boiling!), there’s always tons to do and the atmosphere is so friendly and welcoming. Even when it’s pouring with rain and muddy, we’re all in it together and that creates a sense of community. We all look like shit, so why care? Nope. I can’t imagine ever growing out of Glastonbury.

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  12. The festival fashion supplements are awful though because they’re so unpractical. ‘Playsuits are great!’ Yes, if you want to get fully naked in a portaloo. ‘Wear a floppy felt hat!’ Which is neither waterproof or practical in blazing sunshine, and will blow off the second the wind picks up. ‘Gladiator sandals!’ ARE YOU F*CKING SERIOUS?

    Also... I have done festival fashion on my blog before, but I always keep it practical – keep your feet dry, your skirts short and wear tights that can be thrown away or replaced if they get damp (they also dry very quickly). There is no exquisite hell worse than putting on a wet pair of skinny jeans, or a pair of trousers that are stuck together at the bottom with mud. Just don’t. Oh, and you’re sleeping OUTSIDE. So pack a lot of layers. Like, a lot.

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