Wednesday, 19 June 2013

The Silence Of The Daims



Can you hear that screaming? You may not be able to hear it as loudly as I can, it started off as a whisper and over the last couple of days it has got steadily louder and louder until now I cannot hear anything else.

(No, I haven't 'accidentally' locked a child in the cellar again)

In my cupboard, there is a jar of Ikea chocolate spread with butterscotch pieces (Daim bar, it has pieces of Daim bar in it!!!!)

Or as I like to call it, fat girl CRACK.



God, that bugger can scream, and it isn't in Swedish either! I am impressed by its grasp of the English language. The jar was given to me by a well-meaning friend and at first, it just whispered, as all chocolate does.

Eat me, eat me, eat me.

But it seems like hourly, it is getting louder.

What started off as just a murmur that can easily be ignored,

EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME.

is slowly becoming unbearable.

EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME.

and the bloody thing is getting so persuasive, "Just open the jar and sniff me" "Just a spoonful, that won't hurt your diet" "You know you want my creamy goodness poured down your throat" (Oh hang on, ignore that last one, that was something else)

So far, the jar is safe. I can't eat just a spoonful, I am not one of those mythical beings that can just sniff the jar. The minute the lid comes off, GAME OVER.

EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME.

Apart from throwing it away, (Because that isn't going to happen) does anyone have any suggestions how I can shut the damn thing up?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x




10 comments:

  1. Eat it. Eat it now. Then ask for forgiveness.

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  2. Oh I have two jars of this!! It's delicious. To make you feel better about having to eat it, slice up apples and dip it in, IT'S AMAZING. And nutritious.

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  3. Eat it! That will shut the fucker up, he'll wish he kept his mouth quite ;-P

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  4. How have I never seen this at Ikea before?! *runs to go find some*

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  5. Hmm. the apple slice thing sounds good. Just make sure you strictly stick to one dip per apple slice and one apple. Once a week. Make it into a ritual that you can look forward to.

    Also, this is a bit of fun, so you have a goal in mind: http://modelmydiet.com/women.html

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  6. if this is one of these things where like celebrities, when they mention something, the company concerned sends them loads.... i'll be happy to take them off your hand.
    failing that... well, i suppose i do need some tealights. AWAY TO IKEA!

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  7. If I didn't throw it out I'd eat the jar, so I have no idea - but I do know you can make homemade ferrero rocher type things with this and weetabix, get a spoon of it, roll it in crushed weetabix, then freeze it. Then you'd only have to lick your fingers instead of eating the entire jar.

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  8. I say make a shitload of cakes with it, eat one or two then freeze the rest. Ration it out. Saying that though, I have been known to eat Nutella out of the jar, which is why I don't buy it now! x x

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  9. You're a better woman than I am - I can't have that stuff in the house. I always say, I can resist anything but temptation...

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