Friday, 23 August 2013
Nom or Vom
Thursday, 22 August 2013
London Zoo, Inventory Day
I used to work in a clothes shop, River Island actually. This was before they were cool, (In fact I think me leaving is probably what gave them their coolness) and the one thing that I hated more than anything, (Apart from chasing after shoplifters, nippy little buggers) was stock take.
Stock take was the bane of my fricking life. (Mmmmmmmm, Bane. sorry, I went off on a Tom Hardy tangent there)
(Rude not to)
HOWEVER, can we all stop and feel sorry for the staff at London Zoo as today is the day they inventory the animals.
Firstly, let us pray for the person who has to count the leaf cutter ants.
"234653543, 2346544....... bugger, I lost count. 1,2,3,4"
I would like to be in charge of counting the tortoises please, that sounds like the easiest job in the whole place.
And what the hell happens if they count the lions and there is one missing? Can you imagine?
"I know we had three last year, did we sell one? Is it out the back? Do we need to put up a 'Missing' poster?"
I can imagine the monkeys would be a bit of a bastard to count too.
and the FISH! Have you ever tried to count fish? Why wont they just stay STILL!!!!
So today I will be thinking of all the staff at London Zoo and thinking that perhaps counting jackets and rather dubious skirts was not the worst job in the world. I mean, the worst thing that we ever had is that we were missing one of a pair of shoes..........
Yes, Lions, I am looking at you here. Stay in your groups today please. (Have some 'Pride'. Giggles)
So what animals would you prefer to count today if you had to get involved in The London Zoo inventory?
Bear in mind I have bagsied the Tortoises.
Or what would you NOT want to count?
Let me know.
Big Fashionista x x x
Wedding Day Guest Fashion.
So wedding season is well and TRULY upon us and already I have been caught short with it being the week before a wedding and I have NOTHING to wear!
I hear of this happening a lot, I spend a bit (cough) of time on social media and lately so many people have been saying they need an outfit for a wedding that has come round wayyyyyyyy too fast.
So when I was asked to write about Jacques Vert at John Lewis I knew exactly how I was going to tie it all together for you guys because whenever I look at their range I instantly think their range is perfect for a last minute outfit for a wedding when you have absolutely nothing to wear.
What do you think, could you see yourself wearing one of these as a wedding guest? I know I could.
and if someone could buy me this jacket please as it is reduced to £39, thanks.
I really want that jacket.
So what do you think? Would you shop at John Lewis, for the Jacques Vert range?
You can check them out here ---> Jacques Vert
Let me know.
Big Fashionista x x
*sponsored post*
How do you spoil yourself?
So money is tight, you have your wifi and in your head you are a millionaire.
Go ahead and spoil yourself. What do you buy?
An expensive car?
Although I dread to think what the P&P would be on one of these bad boys.
Some impossibly high and completely impractical shoes?
Something from Harvey Nichols? Some Lanvin perhaps?
Or a basketful of make-up?
(One of each for me please.)
Do you, like me, browse online to make yourself feel better? Or can you not bear to look at pretty things when you are cash poor?
Let me know.
Big Fashionista x x x
*Sponsored post*
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
Panda Babies V Royal Babies
I will not lie, I watched Sky News transfixed for hours waiting for the birth announcement about the new royal baby, and I know I wasn't alone, so don't judge me.
HOWEVER, a royal baby is all well and good but if the pandas at Edinburgh Zoo are 'with panda' then trust me, my royal baby vigil will be NOTHING compared to a Panda pregnancy vigil.
I will not move from my laptop/tv/twitter until I know the baby Panda is born.
(Oh god can you imagine the hashtags?)
Let's face it, Pandas are CUTE.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Babies? Meh. what did we see? A tiny screwed up face and a wrinkly hand? they may as well have wrapped up Prince Philip in a blanket...... (Now there is an idea)
Another reason why I am excited about a Panda pregnancy is that I have a feeling Edinburgh Zoo will be slightly less bothered about mothers privacy than The Lindo Wing. I want to be able to yell along on PandaCam, "PUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH you Bitch.' (I may pass on the popcorn)
Think also about the name.
We thought we were being "out there" and rebellious when we laughed about the child being called Spencer, or maybe Tyler. I will not even ATTEMPT to guess the name of a new baby panda, I know my limitations.
Plus we also won't have to wait ages for photo opportunities, Edinburgh Zoo will probably welcome the added publicity for the zoo and who can blame them. (Put me down for a Panda keyring and a balloon please)
But perhaps the most important thing about why I am more excited about a panda baby than a royal one is that millions of people will not let out a collective sigh of disappointment if it turns out to be a boy!!!!
It's a Panda baby, it will be soooooo cute.
Now where do I need to send the bamboo flower display?
Are you looking forward to a Panda baby?
Or am I just strange?
Let me know.
Big Fashionista x x x
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
Dress To Impress: The Best Of Summer Dresses
After a winter of more androgynous styles, the summer dress is once again a staple of the warmer months, with a number of styles seen on the SS13 catwalks.
With the 60s look firmly back in style, the shift dress is so on trend. I just love shift dresses, they can be dressed up (think: bang on trend perspex heels for a night out with the girls) or down (team with two strap sandals for a comfortable day’s shopping or a day in the office), so you’ll get lots of wear whether for work or play.
There is a lot of monochrome around at the moment so channel Louis Vuitton and find a shift dress in a big, chequerboard squares print.
On the subject of monochrome, this is a design that can suit anyone of any age – so if bigger, bolder designs are a bit too much for you, you can still rock the trend by wearing one of the more subtle black and white pieces.
Denim has become a trend unto itself this season, so it's no surprise the denim dress is a key part of this. If full dungarees aren't for you, a dungaree dress is a great option for working two trends in one.
Prints are big news this season, so find a dress with a bold print and you'll be away (florals are a personal favourite and have been sticking around for a while now, so chances are you'll already have something suitable in your wardrobe).
Also, check out some of this season’s gorgeous dresses featuring geometric prints – bold and colourful, this is alook that is set to stay.
As ever, find a shape that flatters your figure – skater dresses are back with a bang this season and are flattering for most of us, whether a sporty size 8 or a curvy size 16.
There is also a stunning selection of structured summer dresses in the shops right now, which, like the skater dress, are great for all shapes. They add an instant glamour and, as soon as you slip one on, your posture improves. There is nothing like a fitted waistband to remind you to hold yourself in and stand taller!
Keep it current by picking one in one of this season'scolour trends: pastels and neons are two of the cornerstones this summer, so keep it in one of these palettes and you'll be away.
Don’t forget to team your dress with nude sandals to really elongate those legs so you look picture perfect!
BIO
Stella Ashcroft is a fashion and fitness writer who believes that everyone can look good, no matter what their age, size, or budget. When she is not busy writing for fashion search engine Styleinview.co.uk she can be found trawling their handbags section for new additions to her handbag collection (her downstairs toilet now holds over 50 handbags).
OH MY GAWD I HAVE A TEENAGE DAUGHTER!!
I blinked, I only went and blinked and my baby girl turned into a teenager!!!!
Now obviously, this frightens the shit out of me, as I once too was one of those teenage creatures and quite frankly if she gets up to a quarter of the stuff I did..... Houston, we have a problem.
My baby girl turns 13 today and this creates an issue for me, because quite frankly how is anyone going to take me seriously when I tell them I am 27. I'm used to the pitying glances, as if to say, "Of course you are luv" but now, even a Jeremy Kyle guest can add that one up. And I may have got into a little bit of a trouble as a teen, but not THAT much!!!!
So do I knock it up a few years?
(What do you reckon, can I pull off 31?)
Or do I tell the truth and say that I am 37 and hope (PRAY) that someone tells me I look damn good on it? (They won't but throw me a fricking bone here)
I have a teenage daughter..........
I think I need a lie down.
Happy Birthday G.
Mum loves you millions.
But remember, I know all the tricks of being a teenager, I was one once.
Yes, yes. I know, it was a bloody long time ago.
Thanks for that.
Love you.
Mummy. x x x
Converse From Size
Ok, listen up chaps and chappettes who lurve their Converse, this one is for you.
Everyone in my family wears Converse, all the way down to the 7yr old, so when I was asked to write about a site that sells mens shoes called Size, I was more than happy to check them out. When I found out that they sold Converse........
Put it this way,
I know what my son is getting for Christmas now.
I'm thinking these ones,
Just don't tell him, ok?
They do plenty of brands from Franklin & Marshall to Adidas Originals and Superga so go and check them out.
Obviously my favourite are the Converse Trainers,
But what are yours?
Go check them out at www.size.co.uk
Big Fashionista x x
*sponsored post*
** Oh don't look like that, I have bills to pay.**
Sunday, 18 August 2013
Nom or Vom
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
The Summer Of The Side Ponytail.
Summer’s here, and there’s no better way to enjoy it than with a stylish, light, and low-maintenance side ponytail. Equal parts casual and cool, side ponytails are the hair trend of the summer for celebrities, supermodels, and everyday fashionistas.
What makes the side ponytail so popular? From simplicity to style, we noticed four elements that make this easy yet eye-catching hairstyle the number one choice for thesummer.
When it comes to two-minute hairstyles, the ponytail is number one. What’s great about the side ponytail is that it’s so quick to put together – you can get out of bed minutes before your appointment, set it, and forget it.
Unlike other quick and simple hairstyles, this one’s quick and easy yet stylish and suitable for a variety of settings.Mariah Carey even wore a side ponytail to one of her recent press conferences – an event with hundreds of snap-happy cameras.
Ponytails are incredibly versatile. For volume, you can choose a high ponytail that’s spread far and wide. For length, you can choose a discrete ‘double ponytail’ to give the appearance of longer hair.
For glamour, however, nothing touches the side ponytail. Sweep your hair across your forehead and pin on one side for a stylish look that can be enhanced by curls, colour, or even braids.
Want a hairstyle you can wear during your workday, your post-work dinner, and a late-night party? A side ponytail can be tweaked and enhanced to suit a workplace setting, a formal event, or a casual dinner with friends.
If you’re finishing a tough day at work and need an interesting style to wear out at night, try a clip-on invisible ponytail. The cool accessories are the perfect choice for adding a dynamic look to your hairstyle.
Certain hairstyles suit certain faces. A high ponytail, for instance, looks fantastic on a short forehead and a low hairline. A low ponytail, on the other hand, looks great on a longer forehead and a taller hairline.
What’s great about the side ponytail is that it can be tweaked to suit your face, even if other ponytails don’t suit you. Sweep your bangs sideways to create a stylish look that catches eyes, of wear a side ponytail with your fringe for a mysterious style.
Are you in need of some hair styling inspiration? This Pinterest gallery shows off some excellent formal side ponytail looks that are suitable for every type of face, forehead, and hairline.
Friday, 9 August 2013
Nom or Vom
Thursday, 8 August 2013
Victim blaming?
Wednesday, 7 August 2013
Dear East Coast Trains.
Monday, 5 August 2013
Dispatches, Celebs, Fans and Fake Brands
That's Not My Name.
Summer holidays and I'm biting on my tongue and uh
I keep stalling, trying to keep it all together
kids around gotta find something to say now
Holding back, every day the same
Just wanna be alone-r
Listen to me, oh no, I never say anything at all
But with nothing to consider, I forget my name, ame, ame, ame
They call me mum,
They call me muvver
They call me her
They call me again
That's not my name
What is my name?
That's not my name
That's not my...name
They call me crying girl
used to be a riot
Mummy, mo' pizza?
Always the same
That's not my name
What is my name?
That's not my name
That's not my...name
I miss the catch when they throw me the ball
I'm the last mother standing up against the wall
Keep up, falling, these heels they keep me boring
never getting glammed up and sitting on the fence now
So alone all the time at night
Lock myself away, listen to me, I'm not
Although I'm dressed, out and all with
Everything considered they forget my name, ame, ame, ame
They call me mum
They call me muvver
They call me her
They call me again
That's not my name
What is my name?
That's not my name
That's not my...name
They call me crying girl.
There's gonna be a riot
Mummy, mo' pizza?
Always the same
That's not my name
What is my name?
That's not my name
That's not my...name
Are you calling me, darling?
Are you calling me again?
They call me over
(Are you calling me darling?)
They call me again.
They call me Mummy
They call me her
They call me again
That's not my name
What's my bloody my name?
That's not my name
That's not my...name
They call me crying girl.
(Are you calling me bird?)
There's going to be a riot
Mummy, mo' pizza
Always the same
That's not my name
Someone, please tell me my name
That's not my name
That's not my...name.