Thursday, 31 October 2013

Potential Murderer Behind a Door, or Treat?


The time of year when all the rules about talking to strangers and accepting sweets from strangers go out of the pumpkin decorated window for just one night.

I DO take my children Trick or Treating but we only go to the houses of people that I know and have prearranged to visit.

But what do you do about Halloween? 

Do you take your children around and supervise where they go?

Do you just knock on the doors of houses that are decorated?

Or do you shut off the lights and pretend not to be home?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x


Wednesday, 30 October 2013



Too Much Information. 

Is there ever such a thing as sharing toooooooo much online? And I am not talking about those sodding Bitstrips here, I'm talking about telling the world how hormonal you are because you are due on, wondering if anyone can diagnose a rash if you put up a picture of it, or even in the case of Spencer Matthews, the oversharing of his cock.

I for one have no problem with TMI, I'm allll for hearing if your vaginal secretions are frothy or not, (No pics though, please) I think that in some cases, it is the worrying about going something alone because no-one talks about it so you think you are the only one, that can be worse than what you are actually going through. We need to take the taboo back from certain things, I will tweet that I am on my period. I'm not exactly going to Instagram a tampon or anything but I don't feel that there should be any shame in it.

The same goes for kidney infections, piles or anything else that could be slightly embarrassing to some people, it really doesn't bother me.

If you want to tell everyone that you are not wearing underwear, crack on. (No pun intended) 

We shouldn't have shame, but we SHOULD be aware that some people may not want to hear it.

(I may have lost a big part of my audience at the words, Vaginal secretions)

and that's ok too.

So tell me, what are your limits? What do you feel is oversharing in this online world?

Do you want to show me your rash?

Do you flinch when you see people oversharing, or are you ok with it too?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

You Know You Spend Too Much Time On Twitter When........

You know you spend too much time on Twitter when......

You meet someone you have only ever talked to on Twitter and you don't know their real name, only their Twitter name.

You hashtag everything and are puzzled when people don't get it

You say something funny and you immediately think, that would get SO many retweets.

You haven't left the house out of choice for the last two months and still think you have a brilliant social life.

If your family want to know what you have been up to, they check your Twitter.

If your stalker wants to know what you've been up to, they check your Twitter.

You spend a long time explaining to people that Twitter is not just about telling people what you had for breakfast, and then tweet what you had for breakfast.

You cannot watch a television programme without an accompanying Twitter commentary.

Sometimes you don't even watch the programme, you just read the Twitter commentary.

You feel as if you have a special connection with Stephen Fry.

You look back on the FailWhale as the Golden Age of Twitter.

You are reading this post for the fourth time via a link that I've Tweeted.

And after reading, you go back and retweet it, because you want everyone else to read it via Twitter too. 

Big Fashionista x x x

Can you think of any that I've missed? Let me know.

Online Habits

I am a huge fan of finding out about people's online habits, although I do have a habit of looking at them and thinking, "Oh that's not me, not at all. Oh no, I wouldn't do that" (Usually while doing it!!)

Although, here's one I wrote last year about people online. and reading it back I can see I was pretty tired of people online.

My excuse is that I work in social media so I am pretty much always online. 

Ladbrokes Bingo commissioned a survey about the habits of people online, and it makes for very interesting reading.

38% of adults admit to watching porn online. (What were the chances of me using that link first?) 

I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you. ONLY 38%? 

Although it has also been recorded that 42% of people cannot remember all of their online passwords, so that may explain some of it. 

Another fact that confused me was the fact that 27.5% of people polled still do not use any form of social media. 

Well that isn’t very social of them, is it? How on earth do they find out what the weather is going to be like? What celebrity has broken up with their husband? Or what their ex partner is up to? Side note, it was also recorded that twice as many men as women stalk their ex partners. Who knew?

Want to know what other habits were recorded? Go take a look at the Ladbrokes survey, you may be surprised by some of them. 

Big Fashionista x x 


Monday, 28 October 2013

The calm AFTER the storm.

Now, if no-one reads this, I assume you are all dead. (Or it's crap. Let's go with dead)

This Storm of St Jude is either going to be devastating, so bad that the people of Scotland actually put on a fundraiser to raise money for the southerners, or it will be just a strong breeze that pulls down a couple of trees, fences and knocks over a trampoline or two. As they would call it up north, "A bit of a breeze"

Although on social media sites there will be extremely devastating effects if I see the picture of that overturned garden chair, ONE.MORE.TIME.

(This also refers to gnomes on their sides, dustbins and pictures of Gail from Coronation St on a map) 

Part of me has to wonder whether the False Widows have all clubbed together to hire a PR company to get the heat taken off of them for a while, possibly also backed by the urban foxes.

(This has Frank PR written all over it, don't you think?) 

Badgers everywhere are thinking, "Dammit, why didn't we think of that, we just got Brian May."

False Widows are now sitting back giving each other High-Eights thinking, SCORE.  We win, bitches, we win.

Unless there really is a storm coming, in which case, they are gonna need a bigger boat (and 8 tiny paddles)

So while I am nice and warm and dry up north,  watching from afar, keep me updated with the storm in your area. let me know if it is raining, whether you have seen any False widows, or even if you just want to put out a plea for your trampoline back.

Stay safe, wherever you are. and have a lovely Storm Day.

Big Fashionista x x x


Sunday, 27 October 2013

Halloween Dress-ups with Fancy Dress 4 Less

A couple of weeks ago I lamented over the fact that it seemed that this year, far worse than any others, the only Halloween costumes that I could find seemed to be sexed up more than Miley Cyrus, (In fact, what's the betting that Miley Cyrus costumes are available on some sites?) 

Now I don't mind flashing the flesh, a little. What I do object to is showing off my foof (certainly more trick than treat) my tits and every other bit of flesh that I own, ALL AT ONCE.

Then the lovely people at got in touch with me and challenged me to try a costume from them that wasn't going to get me asked whether I charged by the hour.

Challenge accepted, Fancy Dress 4 Less, Challenge accepted.

Firstly, let me say that if you are after something sexy, yes, you can find it here. Also, if you want something pretty awesome, well made and is going to look GOOD, then you really need to go and check them out.

Here is what I chose.

And how I wore it.

I really enjoyed dressing up in this costume and will be wearing it again at Halloween.

But I may actually wear it next time without the wig,

So if you are still stuck for a Halloween costume, or are attending a fancy dress party, go and check out for some extremely cool outfits. I'm thinking that I may go for something like this next time.

What do you think? Go and check out the site and let me know your favourites. 

What would you wear for Halloween?

Let me know,

Big Fashionista x x x

*The costume was sent to me for review purposes, but of course, as always, my words are all my own.

Friday, 25 October 2013

So you want to be a blogger?

So you want to be a blogger?

Write shit down.

Press publish.

Congratulations, you're a blogger. 

Big Fashionista x x

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Here's To Ears.

Recently I was treated to a wardrobe upgrade by Phones4U, I was given a voucher for ASOS to buy some lovely warm clothes and I basically rolled in the jumper section and bought EVERYTHING made of wool. 

Having a little bit of cash spare I bought a hat, I love hats. Hats are basically Batiste in clothing form. 

I will be posting about what I purchased in the coming days but when I put the hat on my head I was pleasantly surprised to find that it had ears! EARS!!!!

Look at that grin! Ears. I was so happy that I had ears that my inner 6yr old basically jumped around and demanded a pony! (Oooooh pony ears) 

I giggled every time I caught sight of myself in the mirror (instead of shrieking in horror) 


Now I have fed my inner child, she is demanding more ears! I want sparkly ears, Spirit Hood ears, headbands with cat ears. Just bring me ears and I will be a happy child. 

And you know what?

It's not just me. 


We also have the beautiful @KateMillican20

As well as @Flintaxe 

We LOVE ears. 

I'm thinking that our inner 6yr olds need a play date.

We may need to buy more ears in the process! 

What do you think?

Am I too old for ears?

Do ears make you happy and unleash your inner child?

Or should ears be kept for 6yr olds and dogs?

Let me know!!!

Big Fashionista x x x 


Wednesday, 23 October 2013

The Zombie Army Needs You

I have decided, my life would be a hell of a lot easier if I was a Zombie.

(This is how my brain works, some people blog about lipsticks, I blog about the scary stuff that comes into my head) 

Personally I think I would make an excellent Zombie, Zombies are so 2013 anyway, Warm Bodies did for Zombies what Twilight did for Vampires, they made them FASHIONABLE. 

The only issue that I have is that considering some of the people I know, If a zombie truly does survive on brains, I may die of starvation. (Not you, oh ok, maybe you.) 

Zombies have it easy, (Apart from the people out to destroy them, obviously and I get that anyway!) If I was a zombie I would just be able to amble all day. Ambling seems like such fun. Maybe I would chase some people just for shit and giggles, and I'm not squeamish, if I had to eat brains or flesh? Surely it all tastes like chicken anyway?

So if the Zombie Apocalypse is coming, part of me is tempted to just get eaten immediately and then spend the rest of my time happily chewing peoples faces off. (I have a list) 

How about you?

Fancy joining me in joining the Zombie army?

And while I'm here, now would be as good as time as any to just get this out there.

(No I did not write this whole post just to be able to get that E-Card into a blog post, honest) 

So, care to join me in the Zombie Army? And if the answer is no, if you see me ambling along, just let this happy zombie travel on her way. I promise to not eat your brains. (If you have them) 

Big Fashionista x x x

Monday, 21 October 2013

Blue lines, Twitter we don't want it.

To the tune of Robin Thicke, Blurred Lines, 

(My Robin Thicke impression. Oh you know you want it) 

This is my message for Twitter. 

Blue lines

Everybody tweet up
Everybody tweet up

Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

Twitter, if you can't hear what we're trying to say
If you can't read from the same page
Maybe you're going deaf,
Maybe you're going blind
Maybe you're out of your mind 

Everybody's fed up

OK now that was close, it tried to update ya, 
But you're inanimate, Twitter, it's in your nature
Just let me uninstall ya
Hey, hey, hey
Must be a de-applicator
Hey, hey, hey
Evan Williams is your creator

Twitter, why'd ya take a good thing?

You think we want it
You think we want it
But we don't want it

It was a good thing
Can't let it get past me
You're far from Facebook
Talk about getting mistook
We hate those blue lines

You think we want it
You think you want it
But we don't want it

You gave it a good whirl
But it don't grab me
Those lines are nasty
Go ahead, get at me

What do they make lines for
When we got them eyes on
What do we need lines for
I the angriest bitch in this place
I don't feel lucky
Hey, hey, hey
It really bugs me
Hey, hey, hey
What rhymes with bug me?
Hey, hey, hey

OK now that was close, just tried to update ya,
But you're an inanimate, baby it's in your nature
Just let me uninstall ya
Hey, hey, hey
Must be a de-applicator
Hey, hey, hey
Jack Dorsey is your creator
Hey, hey, hey

Twitter, why'd ya take a good thing?

You think we want it
You think we want it
But we don't want it

You gave it a good whirl
But it don't grab me
It's far from fantastic
Talk about getting blasted
Everybody's fed up

We hate those blue lines
We know you want it
I hate those blue lines
but we don't want it
We hate those blue lines
We know you want it

You gave it a good whirl
It doesn't grab me
They're really nasty
Go ahead, Twitter jail me

One thing I ask of you
Can we change the version that we back up to
Go, from 5.3 to 5.2,
Yeah, Facebook's a bitch, but it ain't bad as you
So hit me up when you've thought it through
I'll give you words big enough to tear your tweet in two
Swag on, even when we selfie casual
Sometimes #NoFilter is unbearable
In a hundred years not dare, would I
delete my Twitter and let it pass me by
But it's worse than your last try, hate those lines of blue
Wanna smack your ass and pull out my hair like that
So I just watch and wait for you to dispute
It's an awful graphic
Hoping that you appreciate this riffing'
I'm a nice girl, if you don't get this, you don't get me.

Plus what happened with Vine, Shall I just shut up?
Did Instagram hurt, like really hurt?
What you don't like work?

Twitter can you breathe? Do you think this will make ya
Change it back for me, and all the others out there? Uh huh
No more pretending
Hey, hey, hey
Cause then you would be winning
Hey, hey, hey
Here's to a new beginning


Big Fashionista x x x 

Genius Bar....... none.


How often do we hear that term now? I hear it more times in a day on social media sites than the word amazeballs.

I am a genius, a genius I tell you

I am starting to think that the word genius is the most over-used word bandied around at the moment.

(Apart from TWERK. There is even a Twerk It album out now, have you seen it? 
Can I blame Miley "I'm so fucking grown up" Cyrus, for this?)


Exceptional intellectual or creative power or other natural ability."

NOT One Direction for parting their hair on the other side, (Not a euphemism) or a footballer scoring a goal, or even Miley ISFGU Cyrus for taking off her clothes and straddling a big ball. (Ok, so this probably WAS a euphemism) 

I'm sick of it.

Totally sick of it.

Come up with a better word, a more descriptive word. (bites tongue) but let's save the word genius for those that really deserve it.

Before we dilute it so much that we start calling X Factor contestants geniuses, just for hitting the right notes, at the right time.

What do you think?

Is genius an over-used word these days?

Who for you IS an actual genius?

Why am I asking lots of questions this early on a Monday morning?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x


Best ever costumes on Strictly

While we love watching celebrities take a twirl on the dance floor, everyone knows that Strictly Come Dancing is as much about the glitzy costumes as the impressive moves. From skimpy to sophisticated and all with sequins galore, we take a look at the best ever looks to grace the Strictly stage.

Kelly Brook
Voluptuous Kelly was one of Strictly's most glamorous contestants, and while her stint on the 2007 series was unexpectedly cut short, the model still managed to rock a range of stunning outfits. While she showed off her curves in more revealing dresses, it was the elegant black and gold ball gown with matching fascinator that stayed with us.

Alesha Dixon
The peach waltz dress 2007 winner Alesha wore in the final is definitely one of the most memorable Strictly gowns ever. The sparkly backless number with full tulle skirt topped a poll of the nation's favourite dresses from the show in 2011, beating out Ola Jordan's famous Latin numbers.

Kimberley Walsh
No stranger to over-the-top stage style, Kimberley is used to dancing around in show-stopping costumes as one fifth of Girls Aloud. The singer shimmied into a number of fabulous outfits during her time on Strictly, and we particularly loved the bold red fringed dress with waterfall skirt.

Alice in Wonderland
During Fusion Week, Strictly's professional dancers donned Alice In Wonderland-inspired outfits for a spectacular group performance. There was a Mad Hatter, a cute Alice and men in fancy tailcoats, but it was the playing card dresses worn by some of the ladies that we loved most. Accessorised with black and white striped socks and candy red strappy heels, this literary look was one of the quirkiest Strictly has seen. 

Lisa Riley
One of the show's most popular contestants thanks to her infectious enthusiasm and energy, Lisa Riley wowed audiences in a series of fab outfits on last year's series. Our favourite was the royal blue dress with a flirty bow which she donned to dance a tango/cha cha fusion with partner Robin. Look as fabulous as Lisa with our range of flattering plus size clothing from

Sunday, 20 October 2013

Roast Or Toast?

I have just had a fry up, the best fry up I have had in a long time. There was bacon, allllllll the bacon. There was eggs. Sausage, mushrooms and tomatoes. There was also a roll, (although up here they call them breadcakes-I don't think I will ever get used to that) there was laughter and happiness and a huge mug of coffee and life is good.

What there isn't today, is a roast dinner. I've never actually cooked a roast dinner in my life. I feel bad about this, I'm a grown up and sometimes all you want it a roast dinner and yet I've never made one. Sundays for me are all about a fry up, newspapers and generally chilling out with the family. I don't want to be tied to an oven on a Sunday. I want to enjoy the day. 

But how about you? Are you a roast or toast sort of person? Would you rather have a roast dinner, or a fry up. Or would you rather cook a roast dinner on a Sunday or a cooked brekkie?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x 

Friday, 18 October 2013

A Pregnant Pause

Reading this morning about Jo Swinson, the pregnant MP who was standing during Prime Ministers Question time has stirred me to throw things at my laptop once again.

(My poor laptop suffers, it SUFFERS I tell you.) 

Jo Swinson herself has since stated that it is not sexist that she wasn't offered a seat during prime Ministers Question time.


Have some bloody courtesy here MPs. I personally was brought up to offer my seat to ANYONE who needed it more than me. Not necessarily a pregnant woman, but anyone whose need was greater than mine.

And I am bringing up my children in the same way.

Although expecting common courtesy from an MP is a bit like expecting table manners from a Polar Bear cub. 

When I was with spawn I stood daily on the tube, with people avoiding making eye contact with me so that they didn't have to offer me their seats. I once COLLAPSED on a tube train due to being crushed on a train where there was no available seats and no way of asking for one as there were already too many people standing.

It is common courtesy to offer your seat, it isn't about sexism, it is about having good manners. 

And if you trot out the tired old line, "I was scared she wasn't pregnant and I would offend her by offering her my seat" I will not be impressed. That isn't an excuse.

What do you think about what happened?

Were MP's right not to offer Jo Swinson their seat? Has Jo Swinson done other women a disservice by saying that the men were not obligated to give up their seats?

Let me know your thoughts.

Big Fashionista x x x


Nom or Vom

Nope, I don't have a clue who he is either.

I've had to look up his name twice, and will probably have to double check it again before this goes up.

This is the man touted to replace Charlie Hunnam as Christian Grey in 50 Shades, 

WHO is he? I hear you ask.

And my answer?

I don't have a clue!!!!

But he looks acceptable. 

So, ladies and gents.

This weeks make offering for you all to objectify is.......

(Let me go and check) 


So what do we think?

Nom or Vom? 

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Kim Kardashian, They Love to Hate Her

Now by no stretch of the imagination am I a fan of Kim Kardashian.

I don't care how stretchy your imagination is, she's up there with Rhi-Rhi and Miley "Im so fucking grown up" Cyrus in my, I do not give a rats arse what you are up to as long as you aren't sticking it in my face. list

(Some of you may like it stuck in your face. Me? Don't give a rat's ass) 

But then Ms Kardashian posted this pic on Instagram.

Kim K, arse

In all fairness, if I looked like that, just a few weeks after birthing crotchfruit spawned with Kanye West, not only would I instagram it to ten million people, I would probably SnapChat it to every bitch I know.

What does Kim Kardashian get?

Does she get a oh you look good?

Does she fuck,

Comments include.

"You have a daughter, now set an example, U can be sexy, juss be a sexy mommy with some dignity"


"Setting an example for your daughter, I see. Put it away mommy"

So MANY of the comments are too filthy even for me. (Ok, not me, they are too filthy for you)

But the main point of them is, cover up Ho, you is a mummy now.

Oh for Christ's sake.

She's not naked riding a wrecking ball, she's not showing you her episiotomy scars, why the HELL should she put it all away now just because she is a mum?

Mums are sexy too. (You all made a vomit noise there, didn't you?) 

No-one tells David Beckham to stop striding around in his pants because he is a father. (Never stop, David, Never stop) No comments have ever been to him, that's not a good example to your children, Mr Beckham. So what is with the double standards?

Is that fair that Kim Kardashian is told to put it away because she is a mother now?

Let me know your thoughts.

Big Fashionista x x x


Thursday, 17 October 2013

Men's Fashion with Capology

It is rare that I post about men's fashions, but when Capology approached me with a view to taking a look at their site, I thought it would make an interesting post.

Men's fashion is something that usually passes me by. DO men think about what is hot and what's not? Do they have magazines telling them that caps are in. crushed velvet trousers are out? And if they do, can someone have a word about those red trousers? I'm totally over seeing that happening now.

Capology are a website specialising in caps and Urban Clothing  with brands including


Apacapulco Gold

Kid Robot

Rebel 8 

10 Deep

and many, many more brands.

They also stock children's ranges as well as Marvel Comic Caps, for the comic book geek in your life.

Products include,

So if Urban Street wear is your thing, why not check out

Big Fashionista x x x

*sponsored post

Trinity Kitchen - Leading The Food Revolution

If you want to know how to DO a shopping centre, visit Trinity Shopping Centre in Leeds.

If you want to know how to do an innovative new take on eating out, visit Trinity Kitchen.

Based in Trinity Shopping Centre, Trinity Kitchen opened its doors to the public today, bringing a brand new experience and an innovative twist on the tired old food courts usually found in shopping centres.

There are seven permanent restaurant, bar and cafe outlets, all bringing something very different from your usual nuggets and chips,

Pho Cafe, serving deliciously fresh and exciting Vietnamese food.

Chicago Rib Shack, with an American based menu you can really dig into.

PizzaLuxe, exciting freshly made pizzas with delicious combinations of toppings.

360 Champagne and Cocktails, Giving you a chance to sit with friends and enjoy a glass or two.

Chip + Fish. A unique take on traditional fayre.

Notes Cafe, Music, coffee and food, what more could you ask for?

and Tortilla, serving Burritos and a  guacamole so fine that I wanted to take some away with me.

Joining these seven permanent residents are a rotation of genuine street vendors. Five vans which will change every month, these are the REAL DEAL, with taste sensations to prove it.

From Brownies, to cheese scones, hot dogs to Indian food, these vans are bringing a taste of street food indoors..


The vendors will be changing every four weeks, meaning that each visit you make to Trinity Kitchen gives you an opportunity to try something new and exciting.

The decor in Trinity Kitchen is industrial yet comfortable and extremely well set out, there are different areas meaning that you can get a completely new dining experience each visit and choose how you wish to dine.

big fashionista

From super cool, to functional. all in the same space.

graffiti big fashionista

Trinity Kitchen is somewhere you can visit with friends or with family. and you can spend as little or as much as you wish.

If you are in Leeds and you are looking for somewhere to eat, check out Trinity Kitchen in Trinity Leeds.

AND if you are planning on making a visit this weekend, why not take a ride on one of the free rickshaws waiting to take you straight to the door. Just tweet, using the hashtag #TrinityKitchen

tweet to ride aussie hunk

You may even get this Aussie Hunk.

Are you planning a trip to Trinity Kitchen?

What do you think about the new food revolution in Leeds?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

The Lady Boys Of Bangkok

When an invitation to go and see The Lady Boys of Bangkok drops into your inbox, you don't have to think twice about whether you are going.

A glamorous dress, high heels, full make up, and that's just the ladies on the stage. 

The Lady Boys of Bangkok

If Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back, then these ladies are bringing back glamour, 

The Lady Boys of Bangkok

The intimate venue of The Sabai Pavillion is a perfect setting for the Glamorous Amorous tour, making  you feel as if you are sitting in the front row, even from the safety of the back. 

Seated at tables, It gives you a sense of being at an old time theatre show. The costumes are glamorous and the lighting and music is perfect. 

I spent the first half an hour in total disbelief at what I was watching, and the rest of the time teetering between dancing in my seat and jealousy that their breasts are better than mine. 

The Lady Boys of Bangkok

I can genuinely say that this is a SHOW. Yes, 16 men and women are miming and dancing along to backing tracks, and yes, a couple of them at the back were slightly less than enthusiastic on the night, but you know what? The enthusiasm of the main troupe is infectious and without a shadow of a doubt I can assure you that this is a good time to be had by all. 

The Lady Boys of Bangkok

Hen night, A night out with friends, hell, go on your own, I can promise you that you will not be able to stop yourself from laughing, singing and dancing along. 

I highly recommend booking tickets to go and see The Lady Boys Of Bangkok if they come to your town. 

The Lady Boys of Bangkok are in Leeds until 26th of October and then the Glamorous Amorous Tour moves on,  For more details check out for booking and ticket information. 

The Lady Boys of Bangkok

Let me know if you go, or if you have been, l would love to know what you thought. 

Big Fashionista x x x


Tuesday, 15 October 2013

5 Things Successful people do before 8am, and what I actually do.

Yesterday I read a rather interesting article on the Forbes website.

Now I know what you are thinking, (Probably, "Who did you get to read out the big words for you, Kellie") and the answer is, it was a retweet, I was bored, I went to see what it was about and got sucked in. It's like Buzzfeed for clever people, innit?

The article that I was reading was titled,

5 Things Super Successful People Do Before 8am.

So I read it, and realised why i am probably not all that successful.

The five things were,


Does kicking my duvet and screaming into my pillow, "Why does the morning come round so damn fast" count? Because if it does, I am all over that.

Map Out Your Day. 

Um, ok, so I am probably not that good at this part, I have already explained that organisation is not my strong point. I'm more like the first version of Apple Maps, It starts off well but suddenly there is a fucking zoo where you least expected it.

Eat A Healthy Breakfast.

WHOSE idea of healthy? Because I get the feeling that Forbes and I are going to have differing opinions on what makes a healthy breakfast.

If at least one of the Forbes lot doesn't go to work on Menthol cigarettes and the souls of the innocents then I will eat my woolly hat.

And can someone grab me a coffee while they are at it?


Until someone gets me that first coffee in the morning, there is absolutely NO visualisation, I cannot even visualise where the front door is, let alone enter the window of my mind (why can't I use the door? Surely that is much more polite?)

Make Your Day Top Heavy. 

I have an excellent rack? Does that count? Is my aim to make everyone forget how unsuccessful I am by wearing a tight top? Because I can do that, I can. (I really can't)
When Forbes say, Make your day top-heavy, I don't think they are referring to the size of my Lady Lumps, instead they mean do the undesirable jobs on your list first, get them out of the way.

Well I DID, I got out of bed, Jesus these Forbes lot don't ask for much, do they?

And if you are successful, you have done all of this by 8am?


I have to get children ready to leave the house before 8am to get to school, I have to get them to exercise.... their right to a free education, that at 7am they REALLY don't want. I have to map out their day, which usually means finding their school planners, because obviously they are not where they last left them, are they? Eating a healthy breakfast usually involves a cereal bar, so sue me. It is either that or I chase them around the house with a spoon which is the teenage equivalent of trying to give a cat a worming tablet, although if I could hide a bowl of  cereal in a packet of crisps I would be ok. I also have to visualise where my little cherubs left their school bags, again, not where they thought they left them, and their shoes too. How the hell do children manage to lose just the ONE school shoe? And then making the day top-heavy is when they explain to me at 7.45 that they have no clean shirts and why have I not washed them?


So Forbes, Let us talk about what successful people do before 8am because quite frankly, your examples seem to me to be doing it wrong, I not only (Sort of) do all that for me, I also do it for a couple of other people as well.

How do you like that?

And why the HELL am I not successful yet?

So what else do YOU do before 8am that wipes the floor with what "successful people" do before 8am.

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x


Monday, 14 October 2013

I'm A Bitch, I'm A Blogger

Anyone else getting fed up of approaches from people, "LOVING THE BLOG" and they would "LOVE TO WRITE FOR YOU" and all they ask for in return is just one link and they won't charge you a penny?

Yep. Me too. 

So to the tune of Meredith Brooks, here is my song for all those approaches we get. 

Sing along, if you know the tune. And feel free to send it back to those emails if you feel the urge. I know I will. 


I hate SEO today.
You say you're so good to me,
I know but I will charge.
Tried to tell you,
But you look at me like maybe
I'm a freebie underneath,
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I complied.
You must have been relieved
To see the softer side,
I can understand how you'd be so confused,
I don't envy you.
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one

I'm a bitch,
I'm a blogger,
I'm so wild,
So don't bother,
I'm a sinner,
I'm a saint,
and I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your hell,
Coz I'm not free,
You'll get nothing out of me.
I know you really, really don't want to have to pay.

So take me as I am,
This may mean you'll have to start
a payment plan.
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous,
And I'm going to extremes:
Tomorrow I'll still charge,
And your retweets won't mean a thing

Just when you think you've got me figured out,
Marketing is already changin'.
I think it's cool you do what you do
So don't try not to pay me.

I'm not rich,
I need to eat,
So best get down on your knees.
I'll make you hurt,
Make you suffer,
If your link is undercover.
I've been stung,
I survived,
So if you want your brand revived
You know you need to try again another way.

I'm a bitch,
I'm a blogger,
I'm so wild,
So don't bother,
I'm a sinner,
I'm a saint,
and I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your hell,
Coz I'm not free,
You'll get nothing out of me.
I know you really, really don't want to have to pay.

Big Fashionista x x 

False Widow Spiders, Media Hype or Not Your Type?

Everywhere you turn lately, you have probably been assaulted with pictures and headlines screaming about False Widow Spiders getting all bitey and shit. 

According to the tabloids, False Widows Spiders are now so prevalent that they may as well put their names down for council houses.

In fact, has anyone checked The Daily Mail recently? (I don't buy their filth, in fact I won't even read it online and give them the satisfaction of a click through that their obvious trollbaiting is just begging for)

It would not surprise me if The Daily Mail ran an article interviewing a Black Widow Spider discussing how The False Widow has come over here, taking all the good jobs and leaving the Black Widow with fuck all to do. 

(Although the Daily Mail would also wonder whether the Black Widow was claiming benefits for hundreds of children, would probably throw in her age, whether her children all had the same father and also pass comment on how she is flaunting her curves, to entrap another man so that she could have another couple of hundred children that WE WOULD ALL END UP PAYING FOR) 

It must be an extremely slow news week for the tabloids because False Widows aren't exactly a new thing in the UK, they have been here for over a hundred years. It isn't as if they have just turned up on an Easyjet flight, (Although if they had, they would be a lot easier to catch as they would all still be in the airport waiting for their luggage to arrive) 

I am starting to think that this hysteria is all a massive PR campaign by Urban foxes to get the spotlight taken off of them for a while. Weren't they were the last animal to be targeted in the press for being all up in peoples faces? (and bedrooms) Now they are the ones laughing on the other side of their snouts while people ignore them and start on the poor spiders. 

(Does anyone know if the False Widows bite the heads off the men still? Or whether that neat little trick is just exclusive to the Black Widows? I want to know if there is a knack to it) 

You also have to bear in mind that now there are billions of normal spiders out there that are going to fall foul of the "mistaken identity" SQUISHING. Whereas before, most people would get a glass and a piece of paper and gently scoop up the spider and then throw it out of the window. More people will be throwing shoes, large magazines or blowtorching the fuck out of those poor defenceless spiders JUST IN CASE. 

You know, Just in case that spider was A, poisonous. B, could be arsed to take its poison and bite you somewhere, and C, not just a False Widow but ACTUALLY A REAL LIFE BLACK WIDOW. 

Noi one is going to bother with the glass trick while there is a chance the spider may run up your arm and start chewing on your jugular like an extra from The Walking Dead, are they?

Oh Christ, Zombie spiders? If the Daily Mail gets a whiff of that, we will NEVER hear the end of it, will we?

So I for one am not going to start worrying about dying from a spider bite, or a zombie bite for that matter. 

(I run from Spiders anyway)

But how about you? Have you stopped with the glass and piece of paper and now turned into a spider murderer, JUST IN CASE?

Or are you carrying on as normal and not falling for the tabloid hype? 

This could even just be a great Halloween publicity campaign for a supermarket or something, has anyone thought of THAT?

Let me know. 

Big Fashionista x x x



Thursday, 10 October 2013

Halloween Jewellery Round-up

I make no secret of the fact that I love ALL things skeleton, I also make no secret of the fact that I love all things Halloween.

Put the two together and I find myself with a hell of a lot of Halloween jewellery that I find I can, and WILL, wear all year round.

WHO said skeleton earrings are just for Halloween anyway?

Skull & Crossbones Bangle, £12.00 from

 Winged Skull ring, £9.00 from

Pumpkin Necklace,  £13.50 from 

Red Lip Fang Necklace, £10.00 from

 Glitter blood droplet earrings, £3.50 from

Skeleton Necklace, €13.99 from

Incy Wincy spider earrings that are cool

Incy Wincy Spider Earrings, €10.99 from

Gold Butler & Wilson necklace, £28.00 from

So what do you think?

Which is your favourite piece of Halloween Jewellery?

Will you be making any purchases of Halloween Jewellery?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x

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