Monday, 14 October 2013

False Widow Spiders, Media Hype or Not Your Type?

Everywhere you turn lately, you have probably been assaulted with pictures and headlines screaming about False Widow Spiders getting all bitey and shit. 

According to the tabloids, False Widows Spiders are now so prevalent that they may as well put their names down for council houses.

In fact, has anyone checked The Daily Mail recently? (I don't buy their filth, in fact I won't even read it online and give them the satisfaction of a click through that their obvious trollbaiting is just begging for)

It would not surprise me if The Daily Mail ran an article interviewing a Black Widow Spider discussing how The False Widow has come over here, taking all the good jobs and leaving the Black Widow with fuck all to do. 

(Although the Daily Mail would also wonder whether the Black Widow was claiming benefits for hundreds of children, would probably throw in her age, whether her children all had the same father and also pass comment on how she is flaunting her curves, to entrap another man so that she could have another couple of hundred children that WE WOULD ALL END UP PAYING FOR) 

It must be an extremely slow news week for the tabloids because False Widows aren't exactly a new thing in the UK, they have been here for over a hundred years. It isn't as if they have just turned up on an Easyjet flight, (Although if they had, they would be a lot easier to catch as they would all still be in the airport waiting for their luggage to arrive) 

I am starting to think that this hysteria is all a massive PR campaign by Urban foxes to get the spotlight taken off of them for a while. Weren't they were the last animal to be targeted in the press for being all up in peoples faces? (and bedrooms) Now they are the ones laughing on the other side of their snouts while people ignore them and start on the poor spiders. 

(Does anyone know if the False Widows bite the heads off the men still? Or whether that neat little trick is just exclusive to the Black Widows? I want to know if there is a knack to it) 

You also have to bear in mind that now there are billions of normal spiders out there that are going to fall foul of the "mistaken identity" SQUISHING. Whereas before, most people would get a glass and a piece of paper and gently scoop up the spider and then throw it out of the window. More people will be throwing shoes, large magazines or blowtorching the fuck out of those poor defenceless spiders JUST IN CASE. 

You know, Just in case that spider was A, poisonous. B, could be arsed to take its poison and bite you somewhere, and C, not just a False Widow but ACTUALLY A REAL LIFE BLACK WIDOW. 

Noi one is going to bother with the glass trick while there is a chance the spider may run up your arm and start chewing on your jugular like an extra from The Walking Dead, are they?

Oh Christ, Zombie spiders? If the Daily Mail gets a whiff of that, we will NEVER hear the end of it, will we?

So I for one am not going to start worrying about dying from a spider bite, or a zombie bite for that matter. 

(I run from Spiders anyway)

But how about you? Have you stopped with the glass and piece of paper and now turned into a spider murderer, JUST IN CASE?

Or are you carrying on as normal and not falling for the tabloid hype? 

This could even just be a great Halloween publicity campaign for a supermarket or something, has anyone thought of THAT?

Let me know. 

Big Fashionista x x x




  1. Thank you for not adding any pictures. I have arachnophobia to the nth degree, to the point I have passed out in fear cos of seeing a spider in a room. If I can't see them tis fine, it's when I actually see them... I do have a damn good reason for it though! Imagine a 7 year old happily asleep, imagine her sodding evil big brother who decided it's a GREAT idea to place a spider on her face... imagine waking up with a huge ass tropical spider climbing into your mouth. Yeah, I'm scared of them. A lot.
    You're right though, they aren't all shiny new to here at all, the reason they're getting press is cos people have had horrific reactions to their bites. So the press get involved and spread mass panic. Cos we obvs need to have something to panic over ALL THE TIME! It's also a terribly good distraction from actual news.

  2. Their bite is no more dangerous than a wasp sting. Annoying as hell but not a big problem unless you are one of the unfortunates to be allergic.
    This is an interesting read (there are pictures though)

  3. I had a false widow in my sunroom today. It was a scary looking fecker, and although it's been vastly overblown in the press, their bites can still be harmful to someone with a reduced immune system, like me. We tried to get the bugger out of the window from whence it came, and since it was trying to make a land speed dash for the ceiling (which is way higher than our step ladder so no hope of reaching the fucker if it got up there) so we fritzed it to death with our electric bug killer then threw it out of the window to be sure.

    Have a look at my timeline from earlier if you want to see a photo.

  4. Sorry Kelly, my post includes photos. We have these in our house at the moment.
    I don't want to wait to see if I'm allergic, have reacted badly to wasps, ants, flies, and other spiders.
    The ant bite had my leg swell, and I struggled to walk. It was 2 years ago but the bite still goes black if I'm stood up too long in the warm, eg shower. So I'm afraid, given my history of bad reactions, I'll keep Dysoning all the dark corners and hard to reach places.

  5. I've never had a problem with spiders, I know that even the ones that can bite humans are rare enough in this country that I can safely ignore their presence and go about my life without worrying about them. If anything I'd be more concerned about seeing a cockroach in the house, since they don't respond nearly as well to squishing. I also don't react to bites and stings, I'm not allergic to anything that I know of, so even if one of these spiders did bite me, it would be no worse than a wasp sting. Still preferable to, say, coming back from holiday with dozens of itchy mosquito bites.


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