Monday, 30 September 2013

Monday, Monday. So good for me.



Now a lot of you out there may not understand this, you may be reading this on your phones, from under the covers, screaming, "What kind of drugs is she on?"

I bloody LOVE Mondays. 

I do, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry) 

I have three children of various different ages. The weekend is EXHAUSTING.

"Amuse me"
"Feed me"
"Clean up after me"

I feel like an extra from Downton Abbey. (One of those ones that is never appreciated, or gets any good lines, apart from, "Yes Sir, Yes, Miss") 

Come Monday, I am dancing around like a bad girls group on the X Factor. (No rhythm, just PLENTY of enthusiasm) 

My time is my own. (Well, one I have cleaned up the MESS my crotchfruit have created over the weekend, That usually takes until Friday) 

I work from home, This becomes pretty difficult at the weekend when you go to look for the Mac and a child is playing Minecraft on it, No worries, I will just work on the iPad. Oh, someone is checking their Facebook are they? Fabulous.

Shall I write things down with a paper and a........ WHO HAS GOT MY PENS??????

So that is why, on Monday morning, I am smiling.

Well, grimacing, I've just seen the size of the washing pile.


How about you?

Monday Blues or Monday WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x


SHARE:

Friday, 27 September 2013

Nom or Vom

Right, I think we have established that I am about twice the age of many of the bloggers out there, which means that occasionally I am allowed to be indulged and pick a Nom or Vom from my teenage years. (No, not Jesus, you cheeky bitch)

This guy, was the guy, and you know what? He still is. He is coming back to our screens and I can't wait to see him again. 

So without further ado, this weeks Nom or Vom IS............

Michael J Fox. 






Awwwwwwwww, he is a total Nom in my eyes. Especially in his Marty McFly years. 

What do you think? 

Hot? 

Or have I finally gone too far and you are now unfollowing my blog and my twitter and unfriending me on Facebook.

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x 
SHARE:

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Whore-leween



Putting to one side, just for a moment, the furore over Asda, Tesco and Amazon being total twats and selling a "Mental Patient" fancy dress costume, complete with bloodstains and an axe. (Because THAT'S what mental patients look like these days, isn't it?- Idiots) I too have an issue that I want to take up with the supermarkets about their fancy dress costumes for adults at Halloween.

And my point is this.

I DON'T WANT TO DRESS AS A WHORE FOR HALLOWEEN. 

Let us compare the costumes from say, Asda. (Because quite frankly, they deserve a kicking) 

As a man I could be FrankenGroom, Edward Scissorhands, a robber or even wear a pumpkin Morphsuit. 

But take me to the Womens section of Asda fancy dress and suddenly it looks as though someone has raided Miley Cyrus's cast-offs and are now selling them online. 





i can be a Skeleton, complete with a VERY short flouncy petticoat, (Ya know, as all good skeletons wear) I can even be a bloodstained nurse, with carefully ripped sleeves and what looks like a zip all the way down the front of the costume. VERY handy that, when you are a nurse, to wear a uniform that you can just fall out of. 

Even the pumpkin outfit consists of a satin orange skirt that is so short that if I bent over, I can assure you, it would NOT be a treat. 

Everything in the womens fancy dress sections look as if it has been rolled in slut. 

(Which is fine if that is the look you are going for, it just really isn't for me) 

DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE ZOMBIE SCHOOL GIRL OUTFIT, let me just say that the gash on her stomach is not the only gash you can see!!!


I love Halloween, I love fancy dress. I just don't see why my only option is to dress up in costumes so revealing, skimpy or sexualised that I look as if I am on my way to a porn shoot. 

I have now renamed Halloween as Whore-leween and I am just not playing the game. 


Choosing an outfit is certainly going to be Tricky and does not feel as if it would be a Treat for anyone. 

What do you think. 

Am I over-reacting or have you seen an increase in Whore-leween outfits this year? 

Let me know. 


Big Fashionista x x x


SHARE:

A Period Drama



So you having a bad day? You are snappy, tearful, and perhaps a little highly strung.

What are the words that you REALLY don't need to hear on a day like that?

"Time of the month is it?"

You know what? Whether it is, or it isn't, that probably isn't the best way to continue breathing as the chances are, I am going to take your fucking head off. 



And then depending on whether it is my period or not, I am either going to cry, or play keep-uppy with your now decapitated head.

(The trick is working out which one I will do if it IS the time of the month)

If a guy snaps, no-one asks him about his hormones, or whether he still carries sperm in his testicles.

Man throws things around the room.

Woman walks in, "Oh, are your sperm regathering ready to make a final push?" 

No, it just doesn't happen.

And while some women may suffer terribly from mood swings when they are on their period.

SOME FUCKING DON'T, ALRIGHT?

Maybe I am not being a bitch just because of my hormone levels...............

Maybe I am just a bitch. 


How about you?

Does your period drive you crazy? Or do people asking you if you are on your period annoy you even more?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x

SHARE:

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Making Your Kitchen The Heart Of The Home



Since moving house recently, I have taken great pleasure in the small things about having a beautiful kitchen, I have started baking, which I will go into in more detail in future posts, and I find now that I love to have things that match in my kitchen.

I even have a colour scheme! An actual colour scheme in my kitchen.

(Lime green, in case you were interested) 

It makes a lovely change to have a kitchen that I am proud of and when you have a family, it is nice to make the kitchen the heart of the home. I remember as a child, all gathering in the kitchen at certain points in the day to have a catch up with the family, mum cooking the dinner as she asked us about the day, chatting to my dad as he did the washing up after a sunday roast. Done correctly a kitchen can be more of a gathering place and more comfortable than the living room. Look at parties, where does everyone gather? In the kitchen. (although that could be because that is where the booze is) I have tried to keep the look of my kitchen clean and simple and I wanted to share with you some simple tips to make sure your kitchen is being used how you want it to be, being functional and yet a warm place where people want to be.

Hiding Things Away. 

Now I am not talking about old newspapers and last nights washing up here, integrated appliances are a perfect way to hide away the things that do not need to be on show. An integrated washing machine is an easy way to make a kitchen look less like a laundry and more a place of calm. We all need a washing machine, we just don't always need it on show.



A Noteboard.

If you have a busy family home, the kitchen is usually where you will all cross paths, whether you are grabbing a quick coffee before work, putting together a packed lunch for school or even having a drink of water, everyone enters the kitchen at some point. I have found that a memo board in the kitchen is a great place to leave notes, whether it is, "Pick up milk" "Don't forget we have friends over tonight" or even a simple "I love you" It all adds to making your kitchen a warm place where people can enjoy being. (And if they want to make me a coffee while they are there, fabulous) 



A Kitchen Feature

If you want a feature in your kitchen, a great place to start is with a new cooker hood, from being a necessary evil to now being almost a statement piece, cooker hoods have come a long way. Some even look like pieces of art, with chrome, stainless steel and glass making a comeback, giving your kitchen an instant up-to-date look.



Table And Chairs.

IF you are lucky enough to have the space, a table and chairs are always a great thing to have in the kitchen. Get comfortable in your kitchen, make it a place for fun and conversation, not just cooking meals.


So what advice would you give to people to make their kitchen a place where people enjoying being?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x


*Sponsored post
SHARE:

Monday, 23 September 2013

Ring Ring, Who's there?



So you have a new phone, or you have successfully updated to iOS7, your phone is all shiny and new and yet, you have no idea of the horror that awaits you.

SO YOU WANT TO UPDATE YOUR RINGTONE?

This is some serious shit, I have spent more time wracking my brain over what my next ringtone will be than I did trying to think of a name for my firstborn.

The problem is, people will judge you on your ringtone, (and no-one but Katie Hopkins really gives a fuck what you name your children) 

How many times have you stood in a queue and then collapsed giggling as someones phone has rang out and it has been the last ringtone you would have ever expected that person to have.

Although I still remember the bus incident of 2012 when my beloved eldest daughter changed my ringtone to Swagger Jagger by Cher Lloyd. I WAS ON A BUS!!! I have never been judged so harshly and yet so silently in my life. (my usual haters are quite loud and quite coarse) 

So you can see the dilemma?

Do I go for a song as my ringtone?

and then, even if I do go for a song, do I go with something that is currently in the charts? Showing that I am 'down wiv da kidz" BUT then what if I pick a song that drops like a stone out of the top ten in a week? Or worse, becomes as popular as Gangnam Style so that I want to throw my phone against a wall every time it rings. What if I just look like a sad grandma trying to keep up with the music of today. (I'm sorry, but whatever happened to lyrics? Where are all the well written lyrics?) 

If I don't want an up-to date tune, do I pick something from the 90's? (or perhaps older) or does that make my attempt at looking cool just make me look like a twat? (You don't need a phone to do that for you love) 

Do I have something humorous? (Which usually ends up being as funny as crutch rot) or do I go all retro and have my phone just RINGING?

And even then, the decisions on exactly how my phone will ring are enough to make your head explode.

Do I go for Crazy Frog? Or will people want to throw me against a wall?

Or do I just set it to Cosmic?

SEE?!?!?! These decisions are HARD!!!!!

So for now, I think I will turn my phone to silent. (Or vibrate, tee hee hee) and think long and hard about what kind of image I want to portray.

How about you all share with me your ringtones, to see if you can give me ideas. Or have you ever heard an embarrassing ringtone that you might want to warn me to stay away from?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x








SHARE:

Bikinis for every body shape: how to look great on the beach






With so many types of swimwear for women available, it's little wonder that many ladies end up feeling exhausted by the mere thought of holiday shopping. If the idea of standing in a changing room with everything exposed under bad lighting fills you with dread, this quick guide on how to choose the most flattering swimwear might be exactly what you need. The first place to start is with your body shape:


Pear
For women who have a larger bottom half and a more petite top half (i.e. curvy hips and a relatively small bust), the trick is to not try and hide your bum in big knickers or shorts. Instead, make sure the knickers are high on the leg to lengthen the thigh - and ruffling around the bust will draw the eye upwards and add volume on top. A tankiniwill also lengthen your body.


Hourglass
Support your bust with underwiring and shaped cups, and keep the straps on your bikini top thick – halternecks are the perfect style for hourglass shapes. Balance hips with a matching bikini bottom. If you’re conscious of your stomach, a swimsuit with a differently coloured strip around your waist will showcase the slimmest part of your body.


Apple
As an apple-shaped woman, you’ll carry most of your weight around your middle. Ruffling around the hips can help to flatten the stomach, while a deep v-neck will draw attention to your assets. 


Plus-Size
Plus-size ladies have plenty of choice these days, with collections like the So Fabulous plus size fashion range at Littlewoods offering a plethora of options for the beach. Colour blocks are really flattering, so try a swimsuit or tankini that's made up of two block colours, such as black on bottom and white on top.


Athletic
Create curves with frills and ruffling. You can afford to wear skimpy bikinis with detail, and tie-front bikini tops and tie-side knickers will add to your hips and bust. Bold prints also work well on slim or athletic figures, so you can be as adventurous as you like with your beachwear choices!


SHARE:

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Big Fashionista Favourites


This is the second in my series of Big Fashionista Favourites, I was going to do this as a general review post but I loved the concept so much that it instantly became one of my BFF's. 

Bloom & Wild are a flower subscription service that means you can receive bouquets of flowers through the post on a regular basis. You can choose from weekly, fortnightly or monthly deliveries of beautiful fresh flowers that can be arranged into a bouquet in just minutes. 

Even an idiot can do it.
(Well I did) 

The box can fit through a standard letterbox as well, meaning that you don't have to wait in for your delivery and the fresh flowers are picked especially for you, meaning that they aren't hanging around losing their bloom. The flowers are not picked or cut until they are needed, meaning you can be assured of their freshness and longevity. 

I was asked if I would like to review a box for myself and once the poor guys had had their fingers sewn back on, after I had bit them off in my eagerness to receive flowers, they sent me a box of beautiful flowers so that I could see for myself what a great idea it is.

AND IT REALLY IS!! 

Look at my flowers, my flowers are amazing! 


This is how the flowers arrive, as you can see, the box will easily fit through the letterbox.



Inside the box, the flowers are packed carefully so that they are not damaged in transit and arrive to you in beautiful condition, all you have to do is arrange them, and they even come with a step-by-step guide to arranging them. 


I felt like a professional florist unpacking the flowers and I was impressed at just how many flowers were in the box.



My beautiful flowers once arranged. I was extremely impressed with the flowers and I think I will be treating myself to a subscription, there is nothing nicer than beautiful fresh flowers and I also think that this would make an excellent gift idea for people, even someone who you don't get to see regularly but would love to show that you are thinking of them. 

So this weeks BFF is Bloom & Wild, you can find them at http://www.bloomandwild.com 

Their subscriptions begin from £13.95 per bouquet and you can also order a one-off box. A great way to try out the service. 

I thought that I was bored of subscription services but Bloom & Wild have shown that there is definitely still a market in this kind of service and I think that it is a clever idea backed up with an excellent product, which definitely makes them a BFF of mine. 

Go check out Bloom & Wild at http://www.bloomandwild.com and let me know what you think. Would you order this kind of delivery for yourself? I know that I definitely would. 

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x 

Disclaimer, this box was sent to me for review purposes, however my words are all my own, I cannot be bought with flowers. (Ok, I can, but I wasn't on this occasion)  
SHARE:

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Nom or Vom



Will everything that has been going on over the last 24-48 hours, this weeks Nom or Vom was EASY to decide on. 

This gentleman would have made it onto Nom or Vom at some point or another because let's face it, he's hot. 

And my love for all things Apple is all-encompassing. (And he's hot) 

So this weeks Nom or Vom could ONLY be Sir Jonathon Ive. 

Or Jony Ive as we know him best. 






So what do you think? Nom or Vom? And if the answer is Nom then you may want to NOT look at this old picture of Jony. 


He looks younger now than he did back then!!!!! 

So what do we think, Ladies and Gents? 

Nom or Vom?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x 

SHARE:

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Transmission intercepted.

This transmission was intercepted on 18th September 2013. 

Transmission will be deleted from all records accordingly.

Any attempt to copy aforementioned transmission will result in prosecution and death.

Transmission will be terminated.






If you are reading this, then all my warnings were in vain and Apple have taken over the world.

iOS7 was just the bullet, WE were the gun. 


It started off so simply. A phone, just a phone. The easiest communication device ever. We never thought that we were handing everything over to them.

And then iOS7 arrived.

By the time we realised.

It was too late.

We spent years thinking that we were in charge, we had technology at our fingertips, WE were the lucky ones. Little did we know, we were being controlled, taken over, we were used as mere vessels.

And now, IF we live, we will live to regret it.

We don't even have a superhero who can save us, this is not the movies, or a book, this is real life dammit. and we lost. we lost it all before we even knew we had it all.

We even ignored the warning signs, batteries should not die so quickly. We never once stopped to consider what else they could be running. We never thought about what could be going on in the background.

We just didn't think.

And while we were not thinking, THEY took over. we made it easy for them. too easy.

We were sucked in by new colours and A7 chips, M7 chips and improved flash. We wanted them so badly, we were prepared to give away our fingerprints in return.

Our thirst for "New and Improved" has been our downfall.

If you are reading this, it is too late. iOS7 has taken over the world. They have won.

This is the end, and we didn't even see it coming.

We have los

Transmission Terminated

Apple thanks you for your Forward Thinking


SHARE:

Monday, 16 September 2013

NFC about LFW



There are certain things in this world that I just don't understand.

Fruit on a pizza, (Stop with that crap) Sporks (Why?) and why on earth there were only ever twelve episodes of Fawlty Towers (Classic comedy) 

And London Fashion Week.

Oh I seriously do NOT understand London Fashion Week and the effect that it has on some bloggers.

Now if you think you may get offended by this post.............

Then you probably will.

Disclaimer,

There are SOME writers/photographers that work DAMN hard, and have bloody well earned their places at London Fashion Week, I have LOVED coverage from people I admire and respect like Jaime from www.boymeetsfashion.com Lois from www.bunnipunch.co.uk  and um..... um.......

(I'm sure there is more, I am just getting clouded in people that think because they dress up for their blog they deserve to be at LFW, practically tonguing the backside of Alexa Fucking Chung.)

But London Fashion week has become less about the actual designers and the CLOTHES and more about people wanting to be seen there, and quite frankly that bores me to tears.

If I saw one more Mulberry Teacup I was going to lose my shit.

Yes, you have been invited to Mulberry, but are you going to get a full cup of coffee in that cup? No, so sit the fuck down.

I love clothes, HOWEVER, being a size 16/18/20 means that nothing is going to fit me, being poor means that even if it fitted me I can't afford it anyway, and being me means that I am going to wait until New Look bring out a copy and buy it for a fraction of the price.

Most people trotting along to LFW have NFC WTF is going on there, and a lot of them have no need to be there, AT ALL.

Being a blogger does not give you an automatic entitlement to be at London Fashion Week, sorry, (Not sorry) but it doesn't.

No more than me liking to read books about astronomy entitles me to go and wander around NASA for shit and giggles. 

I am gobsmacked at some of the tweets and comments I have read from people who are either offended that they are not invited, or crowing that they were invited and are instagramming the shit out of THEMSELVES, not the clothes.

What do you think?

While I am not tarring all bloggers with the same brush, (before you all start crying) have you seen this behaviour?

Or am I just hungry and need to chill the fuck out a bit?


Let me know.



SHARE:

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Big Fashionista Favourite - Scrapunzel

So this is the start of a new section that I will be bringing to you each weekend called "Big Fashionista Favourites". Small businesses that are different, exciting and worth shouting about. Come back every weekend and I will hopefully be introducing you to companies that you didn't know were out there but now you do, you HAVE to buy from them and bookmark them so that you can browse at your leisure.

I hope you like the idea.


My first BFF (Big Fashionista Favourite) is.


Scrapunzel


Now I am a huge fan of small businesses that give you something unusual and this company truly does that. I recently ordered a hat from www.scrapunzel.co.uk  after chatting to the lady on Twitter and once I had browsed through her site I knew that I had to order something myself.

Here is the Scrapunzel "About Me" page.


My speciality is eco-friendly, hippie handmade clothing reconstructed and re-imagined from recycled and locally sourced materials. Inspired by my forest wanderings, and love of faery tales - I have designed clothing with freedom, beautiful nature and a love of life in mind.
There's a crazy, free spirited energy to what I do. There's plenty of patchwork, spiral designs, nature inspired appliques...pointy hems, flared sleeves and long hoods.... in all the colours of the rainbow!

How cool is that?

Want to see some more?

Here are just a few of the products sold by Scrapunzel.





And here is me in my hat I got through the post today! (And I won't give away the surprise but the packaging is SO brilliant. Will keep it safe) 



I am a huge fan of the site and I really love the Faery coat. It definitely is an original coat that is sure to turn heads. 

So why not go and check out the site for yourself and help support small businesses out there that bring you something just a little different. 

And I will be sure to post a picture of my new hat when it arrives. 


What do you think of the site?

It is definitely one of my Big Fashionista Favourites.

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x 



* Think you have what it takes to become a BFF? Drop me an email with your website details and I will take a look. 



SHARE:

Friday, 13 September 2013

Very Superstitious

I'm not, but hopefully you have the Stevie Wonder song in your head now and if you are walking along reading this (Mind that lamp post) you will be strutting.

Right, today is Friday the 13th. A day when most people blame everything bad that happens on the fact that it is an unlucky day. 

SOME people have good reason to. They shit that has poured down upon them is enough to make some people want to mark Friday 13th off on a calendar and take a duvet day.


So if you are one of those people who hates Friday 13th because for you it has in the past been unlucky, Let me know what happened to you. 

Have you been hit by a ladder as you walk under it?

Tripped on lucky clover

Or just suffered a disastrous day.

Let me know. 

I will TRY not to laugh. I promise. 


Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Nom or Vom

Slightly different this week, (What? Are you not bored of the objectifying of various male specimens each Friday? Nope, me either, normal service will resume shortly)

Now I personally do not give a flying fuck what Miley Cyrus does. As long as she is not twerking in my kitchen while I am washing up or wriggling on a wrecking ball in my garden while I am trying to hang out my washing then she can just crack on.

(Yes, yes Miley, dear. You are all growed up, we get it)

But it is time to throw it open to the floor and ask you guys your thoughts on Miley "Twerking" Cyrus. 

And where better to do it than Nom or Vom. 











So what do we think, ladies and gents. 

Is Miley, truly a bad girl or is she just trying too hard to prove she isn't a Disney Princess anymore?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x 




SHARE:

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Christmas Is NOT Coming


So someone broke Summer, well I say broke, I think we wore it out a little.

And now, it is Autumn (my favourite season) The season when the leaves start to turn beautiful shades of red and gold and fall from the trees, the sky is blue and the air is crisp, we get to wear jumpers and boots and wear darker shades of berry coloured lipsticks.

 I love it.

So why the merry FUCK am I being assaulted with images of Christmas?

It is September, not December, not even November, I will let you squeeze in a selection box or two in October, but September? Stick it in your sack Santa. I have absolutely no interest yet. 

You have been warned.




I want to browse cozy knits, but not to choose between having either a reindeer or a snowman on the front. (Although, come December, I will be kicking the arse out of that trend, wait and see)

I do not want to see whole aisles in the supermarket given over to Christmas decorations, I haven't even picked out my Halloween decorations yet! (That is something that requires a LOT of thought) I do NOT want to have christmas music piped over tannoys, and i certainly do not want to see a John Lewis Ad quite yet.

It infuriates me, I feel as if the retailers are trying to kill me with the death of a thousand christmases, (Christmases? Christmasses? See? This is what happens, I should not be worrying about this shit in September) There is no one BIG Christmas issue, I haven't seen Santa out walking his reindeer or anything big enough to justify my rage, it is just all the little things that all add up until I want to grab Santa by the sack and twist, hard.

I'm on the "Naughty" list aren't I?

So far the main offenders are the large Supermarkets, (Although the PR companies that I deal with have been hawking around Christmas ideas since about January-You rock, guys) But have YOU seen any examples of Christmas where you are that have made you say, "Oh do Fuck off"? 


Let me know.

We will name and shame together.

Big Fashionista x x x


SHARE:

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Thumb And Games.



So there is a strong chance I have fractured my thumb. (Pauses for sympathy comments) It bloody hurts and I can't bend it, It has also turned just the shade of blue I have been looking for, for my bathroom,  (Do you think Dulux will colour match it?) 

Thumbs are important. (Valuable piece of information, that)




Now I did know this but I didn't realise quite how much I used mine before hurting it. Now even typing makes me shriek in pain, I am currently typing with just two fingers, making it quite slow going, and occasionally i forget and hit the space bar with my thumb, resulting in some extremely bad language and my Mac now flinching every time I go near it. ("Don't say mean things to me, don't say mean things to me. Take me to my happy place")

Let us never talk again about how I am managing to wipe my bottom. (and how often I have now washed the bandages) even lighting a cigarette hurts, (Well they do say smoking is bad for you) and you know the old saying used before you smack your child, "This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you"?

SO FUCKING TRUE. 

My son has already offered to cut my thumb off for me, his view is that once the pain from the removal has settled, I wont keep catching it and screaming like a small goat having a nightmare. (A couple more days and I may take him up on that offer)

Now there is absolutely no point in this post, (I can't even think of a good closing question to entice you to leave comments) I just wanted to share my pain with you. (stop laughing)

Um, what temperature can I wash bandages on?

(Oh hang on, I have a better one) 

So share with me your broken bone stories, Cheer me up with your tales of woe and sorrow and make me feel less stupid. 

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x


SHARE:

Monday, 9 September 2013

Playground Parents


So the school holidays are now over. Congratulations to you if you survived, not only with your house intact but your sanity too.


But now we have new worries to deal with.

The school playground.





Trying to fit in has never been so hard. The looks, the stares, the hope that friends for life can be made and you know what?

The kids have it hard too.

In all seriousness, (well, as much seriousness as I can muster anyway) The school playground can be daunting for a parent taking their child to school for the first time. I have just moved from London to Leeds and when I walked my little girl into the playground on that first day and saw all the parents chatting and milling around catching up on what they all did in the holidays, it immediately reminded me of my own first day at school. (Except without the wetting myself and hiding behind my mum part-that's my story and I am sticking to it.) 

There are always the same type of mums in the playground though, aren't there? No matter where you are.

There will be the "nice" mums, the ones that are always getting involved. They are usually part of the PTA and they run around the playground trying to sell you raffle tickets to raise funds for the school, make sure you are going to be attending the parents evening or trying to get you to help out at the school fete. (I am not that mother)

There are the "fashionable' mums, the ones who can turn up at the school gates at 8.55 looking as if they have just stepped out of the pages of Vogue, (Usually while I look like I have just stepped out of a train wreck. Bitch I am NOT a morning person, stop that) (I'm not that mother either)

You have the mothers who stand there watching their children go into school with tears streaming down their face as if someone has just ripped their beloved offspring from their arms and told them they will never see them again. (Nope, that's not me either. The only tears I have running down my face at the school gates are tears of joy after a long six weeks school holiday. Oh who am I kidding, I have tears of joy every Monday morning) 

You get the PJ mums, (No that isn't bloody me, cheek) Now if you want to rock up to the school gates at 8.55 in your fluffy pyjamas then that is your prerogative, just realise that it is also my prerogative to judge you, loudly if need be. I have three children of various ages that I manage to get to school on time and quite frankly I would die rather than walk to the school in my pyjamas, (Also if I didn't die, there is a strong possibility that one of my children would murder me in my bed rather than face the shame of admitting that they are related to me) On a side note to the PJ parents, I will forgive you for your PJ indiscretions if you do it at 8.55. HOWEVER if I see you at the school gates at 3.15 in your PJ's or dressing gown then be prepared for hellfire to rain down upon you in the way of sneering judging looks.


You also have the habitually late parents, the ones kicking their beloved offspring through the gates just as everyone else is leaving with a stressed out look on their face that makes you want to give them a hug, and a better alarm clock. I have been this parent once or twice in my lifetime so I won't judge you, there seems to be a time-slip in the space/time continium that means you glance at the clock and you have twenty minutes left before you need to leave and then the next time you glance at the clock, "Sweet baby Jesus, have you seen the time? RUN, RUN you little bastards, RUN"


Other parents you may see at the school gates are the working mums and I love this group, some of them I really wish had the time to stop and chat and get to know but unfortunately they have to drop their children off at their line, wave them in and rush off to work. I admire these mums who manage to multi-task. (PJ wearing parents, take note. These women have not only got their kids ready but themselves to a professional standard. Cough cough, raise your standards)

I don't really know if I identify with any ONE of these groups, I think I can be nearly of them in a school week. which is kind of fun.

But how about you?

Can you think of any other parent in the school playground that I may have missed out?

Or what type of school run parent are you?

Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x





SHARE:

Friday, 6 September 2013

Nom or Vom


Better late than never, right?

So this guy could give me a yeast infection anytime he wanted, (insert other baking related objectifications here) and while I watch Great British Bake Off MAINLY because I am constantly on a diet and like to torture myself watching people create delicious desserts, the main reason I watch is for the man himself, this week's Nom or Vom..........

Paul Hollywood. 








The man is a silver fox and those eyes can heat my core temperature to 300 degrees in a heartbeat. Yum.

So what do we think, ladies and gents?

Paul Hollywood?

Nom or Vom? Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:
© Big Fashionista | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Created by pipdig