Monday, 13 January 2014

Damn right, I'm Hot In Bed



I am hot in bed.

You heard me, I am hot in bed. I am, I know I am.

Damn right I am hot in bed.

Now ask me.

'Kellie, Why are you so hot in bed"?

And my answer is this.

AFTER 38 YEARS I HAVE BOUGHT AN ELECTRIC BLANKET!!!

Oh and I am an awesome shag, but that is not important right now.

Now WHO let me get to this age without extolling the virtues of an electric blanket to me? Because I'm not angry, I am just disappointed.

I am one of those people that, if you are curled up in bed with me, (you lucky bastard) you are probably just waiting, just waiting with baited breath, for me to put my freezing feet on you. My feet are so cold that they can double as the heart of Katie Hopkins. My fingers, if I ran them down your back, would remind you of rivers of ice, so cold that you could probably die.

I am a cold individual who only has to walk through a draft and blood flees from my extremities like a murderer from the scene of a crime.

I'm cold.


And now, all my prayers have been answered. An electric blanket, PRAISE THE LORD, praise the sheep that made it all fluffy, praise the electricity companies that make the electricity that runs through it... (actually, take that back, robbing bastards)

I feel like I am so late to this party, I'm the one running around yelling, "COOL PARTY" while everyone else just nods and says, "WE KNOW'

Am I the only person who didn't have an electric blanket, and really didn't realise just how warm and cozy they make you? Why did you make me miss out on being hot in bed for so long?

Please, I beg you, If you don't have one, get one. (And no, this isn't a sponsored post, although hit me up guys, I will happily talk about electric blankets again..... call me)

Do YOU have an electric blanket?

Do you love it?

Do you not have one?

Why not?


Let me know,

I'm going to be running round town telling everyone I'm hot in bed.

Big Fashionista x x x
SHARE:

11 comments

  1. Electric blankets are THE best. Totally adore it and would stamp my feet if I had to live without it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I spent last night with freezing feet, and 1 cold shoulder - o want an electric blanket! Make and name please!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I got a cheap one from EBay! It cost me £15 and has changed my life. The single bed ones are about £12 as well! Best money I ever spent

    ReplyDelete
  4. I DO love my electric blanket. I would love it more if I could remember where I put the bastard thing when I took it off my bed last year...

    Jess xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. a electric blanket would be hell for me! I stuffer with hot flushes, it would be hell!

    Catherine x

    http://beautyintheeyeofthebe-holder.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't have an electric blanket - yet! - but we did recently get a teasmaid and I'm pretty sure I had the same 'my life has been changed, how could I not know about this magic' reaction you had to the electric blanket....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nooooooo I would just sweat and I'm pretty sure sweat and electricity don't mix...

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm ALWAYS cold and I put a single electric blanket on my Christmas list- and got it! Total revelation, it's the best! My OH thought I was mad lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love how you've writen this. Very amusing. ;-)

    ReplyDelete

Due to increased spam comments I am now having to moderate the comments I receive. I will do my best to get them approved quickly so please, carry on commenting as every time you comment a kitten smiles.

© Big Fashionista | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Created by pipdig