Monday, 13 January 2014
Damn right, I'm Hot In Bed
I am hot in bed.
You heard me, I am hot in bed. I am, I know I am.
Damn right I am hot in bed.
Now ask me.
'Kellie, Why are you so hot in bed"?
And my answer is this.
AFTER 38 YEARS I HAVE BOUGHT AN ELECTRIC BLANKET!!!
Oh and I am an awesome shag, but that is not important right now.
Now WHO let me get to this age without extolling the virtues of an electric blanket to me? Because I'm not angry, I am just disappointed.
I am one of those people that, if you are curled up in bed with me, (you lucky bastard) you are probably just waiting, just waiting with baited breath, for me to put my freezing feet on you. My feet are so cold that they can double as the heart of Katie Hopkins. My fingers, if I ran them down your back, would remind you of rivers of ice, so cold that you could probably die.
I am a cold individual who only has to walk through a draft and blood flees from my extremities like a murderer from the scene of a crime.
And now, all my prayers have been answered. An electric blanket, PRAISE THE LORD, praise the sheep that made it all fluffy, praise the electricity companies that make the electricity that runs through it... (actually, take that back, robbing bastards)
I feel like I am so late to this party, I'm the one running around yelling, "COOL PARTY" while everyone else just nods and says, "WE KNOW'
Am I the only person who didn't have an electric blanket, and really didn't realise just how warm and cozy they make you? Why did you make me miss out on being hot in bed for so long?
Please, I beg you, If you don't have one, get one. (And no, this isn't a sponsored post, although hit me up guys, I will happily talk about electric blankets again..... call me)
Do YOU have an electric blanket?
Do you love it?
Do you not have one?
Let me know,
I'm going to be running round town telling everyone I'm hot in bed.
Big Fashionista x x x
© Big Fashionista | All rights reserved.