Monday, 3 March 2014
I'm A Fraud
"A FRAUD. A big fat fraud, and you have been found out for the failure that you are"
That's what the little voices in my head were whispering to me last week.
When I talk about voices, I'm talking about the negative voices that are always inside, the ones that when things are going well, we manage to push back into their box and try to forget about, but they never TRULY disappear do they? And when you have a bad day, they spring out of their box as if they taught Jack Nicholson his moves for The Shining.
I had a bad week on the blog, stats were down, comments were down, and suddenly, all of those negative voices come back, slithering around saying, "SEEEEEEEEEEEEE? No-one is interested in what you have to say, NO-ONE is listening. in fact, everyone is LAUGHING at you."
Negativity is a cruel mistress. The minute you start listening to it, it is so hard to stop, and I had opened the door. Hormones, stress, a million tiny little reasons that culminate in one huge wreck of a person.
And I was a wreck.
(Not now, Miley)
I love what I do, I really do. but like most bloggers out there, I don't get paid for what I do, I do it because I love it. I don't win awards for what I do, (apart from ones from Tattooed Mummy, which are cherished. http://tattooedmummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/tm-alternative-blog-awards-results-show.html ) and I am only human. I get down, and I get up again.
I always get up again,
Negative thoughts are always amongst us. and sometimes, we have a day (week) where they completely overtake us. The trick is to learn how to put them back in the box and ignore them. Sometimes we manage it, sometimes they fight their way out again. There is no magic trick to fighting back internal negativity, everyone deals with it differently, whether you shower it with positivity, turn to friends or just plow on through.
How do you deal with the negativity that is inside you?
Anyone else sometimes feel like a fraud at what they do and wonder if one day, everything that you built will one day come falling down around you?
Let me know.
Big Fashionista x x x
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