Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Taking the Service OUT of Self-Service

Self service tills,

Never has the word service been less needed, 

And let’s be honest here, the word ‘self’ is pretty much superfluous as well, I am yet to complete a transaction with one of the self-service machines you now find in supermarkets, pretty much everywhere without needing to “CALL FOR ASSISTANCE”

HELLLLPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.





I end up talking to the self service machine as if it is a real person as well. (One that I’m not going to end up taking out for Tequila slammers and a dance-off either) 

“Unexpected item in the baggage area”

“Unexpected item in the baggage area? Sweetheart, I just scanned a salad (Ok, a cake) and now there is a salad (let me have this) in the baggage area, this does not count as an unexpected item in the baggage area. A Tiger? Now that would be unexpected, but when I scan something through and then something turns up in the baggage area, weighing pretty much the same as a choux bun, (It’s a light salad, leave me be) how on earth that can be unexpected is beyond me. 

“Ok, I have picked up the bloody salad, now please can i carry on packing? What do you mean Call for assistance? I’m done here, it is a bloody salad”

“Call for assistance? Can you not handle this by yourself? Who did your programming? they should be ashamed of themselves”

“Am I 21? Oh you flatterer, what do you mean Call for Assistance? Bastard”

“Run out of paper? “Want me to press the Call for Assistance button?”

I think I’m on first name terms with some of the Assistance staff these days and while I understand the need for some self-serve tills, honestly? it just makes me sad that so many of them exist these days. 

Self-serve tills can’t “slow it down a bit” when you are trying to fit a baguette in a carrier bag full of SALAD, (HA) or ask you your plans for the day. I miss the small talk with check-out staff and I would rather queue that little bit longer to be served by someone with a brain who doesn’t need to CALL FOR ASSISTANCE every third item. 

Self Service Tills drive me round the bend. 

How about you?

Do you love the freedom that a self-serve till can bring you?

Or do you HATE them so much that the veins in your EYEBALLS begin to throb whenever you think about them?


Let me know,

Big Fashionista x x x






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24 comments

  1. I don't mind them and I've never had any major issues with them. I avoid them if I'm buying anything with a security tag or anything age-restricted though, as waiting for the runner to sort you out can often take an age, & you might as well have gone and queued at a normal till. I still enjoy chatting to the checkout staff though, so will only use self service tills if I've just got a few bits.

    To be fair, I used to be the person who manned the self service tills in my previous life, so that might be why I don't mind them :-)

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  2. You sound like my mum, every time she uses one something goes wrong :) she has many salad debacles. For me I just hate how much longer it takes (because of people like you haha, I kid I kid) :)

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  3. Love this! I get so frustrated using these things! And they are always on the loudest setting when I use them too. It's like 'stop shouting at me!'

    Jenn | PhotoJennic

    x

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    Replies
    1. Apparently they have a mute button!!! Who knew?

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    2. There's a mute button???? Is it really tiny, so that we can't find it?

      PS- My pet hate is when staff literally force you to use the self service because you have a basket. Bugger off. Yes, I want to stand in this ridiculously long queue, just so that I can be served by an actual human being ;)

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  4. What annoys me is half the time you need the assistant right there the whole time so might as well have gone to a regular checkout. I hate them. The self service. Plus, the assistants who are there to help, in our local, tend to be too busy gabbing.... infuriating. Still, better than dealing with checkout. xx

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    Replies
    1. My checkout lady helped me pack my bags today! Self service won't do that for me. :D

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  5. Im in the minority here, I much prefer them.
    On the days where human contact is too much for me but I still need bread milk and chocolate (medicinal) they are a life saver

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    Replies
    1. That's why I do use them, then they fail and I have to speak to a person anyway. Sob

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  6. I always use them for speed (ha!) & convenience but hate that as u say, u cant seem to complete a transaction without something going wrong! My pet hate is trying to fit stuff into the bag properly and after three seconds being told:

    "Please Place the item in the bagging area" - I AM!! U do it better and quicker if u think u can!!

    Xx

    www.nickikinickie.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES!!! It's so infuriating. I treat it like it's a person!

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  7. The five words guaranteed to cause rage have to be "unexpected item in bagging area". Always seem to end up having a very one-sided argument with the machine, usually culminating in me shouting something like "It's in the f******g bagging area!!!!".

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    Replies
    1. Hahahaha. That's totally what I do too

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  8. I'm waiting for these machines to start judging us. 'The maximum limit of cake has been exceeded. Please call for assistance.'

    J

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  9. Its when the kids have sweets and they weigh nothing and all you get is ADD ITEM TO BAG - I have done - ADD TO BAG - oh no fall over. I hate them and always seem to pick one which has something wrong with it. Its not quicker at all especially if assistant is in dreamworld and doesn't want to be on the 'till.

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    Replies
    1. The debates I have had with those machines over not adding to bag! I never win either. :((

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  10. I seem to have short term memory loss with those things. Every time they send me into a rage, and yet everytime I look at the tills and think they're the better option. I think I subconsciously think I can do it better (possibly after one too many times trying to keep up with the speed the staff chuck products down the conveyer belt at me to pack). Obviously, I can't.

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  11. This is what happened the last time I attempted to use a self-service till. It was in Tesco, somewhere in the bowels of East Sussex. I can't remember what we were buying, but when the till started screaming at me I started swearing at it loudly, then walked off leaving a queue of very bemused people behind me. My poor hubby had no choice but to walk off as well.

    They're the work of Satan.

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  12. I thought it was just me that was particularly unlucky with those bloody things... the worst one is in Boots - you get lulled into a false sense of security thinking that you can buy embarrassing products without anyone seeing... and then BAM! Call for assistance.

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  13. Fuck fucking fucking fucking bastard things

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