Monday, 17 March 2014

Travels With Blogger Bear



This week Blogger Bear has been with the gorgeous blogger Annie from www.epiphanniea.co.uk

After a week on an ambulance and a week trying on sunglasses you would think that a week with a top fashion blogger would make Blogger Bear chill the F out a bit wouldn't you?

Read on. 



Day 15 Of My Captivity

After being squashed like a sausage in a small cardboard box with no in-transit entertainment I have finally arrived at my destination. I fully intend to have a word with this mundane human about my travel arrangements and just what I think about being shipped around the country like I’m some kind of toy, it’s despicable . . . Oh wait . . . what’s this? Seems like I’m being greeted by a welcoming bear committee.

See this is more like it. Finally someone is showing me some respect . . . though I do have to say that these bears do look a bit odd. Why on earth is that bear wearing earrings?  


This human is completely up herself!!! Who does she think she is subjecting a high status bear like me to such torture?! I’ve been in this house for 5 hours and she hasn’t had to common decency to greet me. Dumb Bear One (i.e. the tall fluffy bear with a checked bow) tells me that the human has no interest in seeing me until my prep team have addressed some “obvious problems”, this has included a vigorous fur scrub & combing session – I think I’ve lost 2 layers of fur – plucking my brows and leaving me wrapped in nauseatingly scented towels in a baking sauna . . . I think I want to go back to the hiking-paramedic human, at least she gave me coffee.


Days 16 Of My Captivity
I blacked out in the sauna last night and have woken up in a very fluffy bed. Urgh Tweedledum (i.e. bear with stupid earrings) is knocking at my door.  Who gets out of bed at 7am on a Sunday?!
I need coffee!
As I’m crashing her for a week, Annie thought it would be best for me to get involved in a blog brainstorming session  . . . that’s all fine and good but why does it have to be at 7am in the morning!!!!
As I was the lowly intern and they didn’t want me to mess anything up, my job was to sit, go to the supermarket to get Coke cans, type and if I had a REALLY good idea, think about it, spend 5 minutes phrasing it in a non-snarky way before I could say it . . . .yhh I really beginning to hate this team but I’m bigger than them – so to speak.


Day 17 of My Captivity
Can you believe it? The model for the Mother’s Day shoot caught playtime rabies!!! How did that even happen? *rolls on the floor laughing* Now they are in a bit of a tight spot as none of them fits in the outfit . . . I think I should just take a seat and watch them fret a bit more before I offer to try on the shirt.
The shirt fit perfectly – obviously – much to Dumb Bear One’s delight and Annie’s chagrin. I don’t know why but I don’t think she likes me much ever since I told her to remove all the green M&M’s from the packet.


Day 19 Of My Captivity

This morning I woke up in the bin. 


Someone took me out of my bed in the middle of the night and I woke up sitting on some empty shampoo bottles and clumps of hair.  How uncalled for!!! I didn’t ask to be passed around these humans so the least they could do is treat me like a guess for one measly week.
Guess I should ask the dumb bears “nicely” to book me another treatment while I try send the first human a complaint on this twitter thing . . . where’s the send button again?


Day 20 Of My Captivity
Urgh why would anyone in their right mind choose to be healthy? That dumb human dragged me out of my warm bed at 6am to go for a run, why on earth would I need to go on a run? I’m a bear!! I live on honey, M&M’s and fizzy drinks, exercise is not part of the plan . . . I wonder if anyone would notice if I pushed her into the River Thames?
I wish she would just let me stay at home with the other bears and let me watch Jeremy Kyle.


Day 21 Of My Captivity
Guess who went viral and ended up on a billboard?? The public obviously loves my face though I must grudgingly admit that the prep team did have a small hand in it BUT the character and personality was all me.

As my schedule means I have to leave my adoring fans at the end of the week, Annie thought it would be a great idea to meet some of my fans but I have been warned to keep my “stank” attitude in check or she is sending me off to the next human’s house in rolled up Elle Magazines smeared with garlic. . . Seeing as she had an evil gleam in her eye, I don’t think she’s joking.


Day 22 Of My Captivity
As part of our bargain, Annie is sending me off to the next human’s house in style. I do hope this next human appreciates my star quality or I’m throwing a fit and smashing all their tea mugs. I’m a star now and deserve the outmost respect

Blogger Bear. xx


(So what I'm thinking, is that Blogger Bear probably needs to get over himself a little, perhaps visit someone where he won't be top dog..... Where EVERYONE is learning to Be More Dog. You guessed it, Blogger Bear is off to visit O2!!! This may get messy)

Do YOU think Blogger Bear is becoming a diva? How do you think he behaved this week? Let us know.


Big Fashiknista x x 


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1 comment

  1. I am loving following blogger bear such fun. I was going to sugn up but was meant to be filming I Turkey but postponed the trip damn xx

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