Wednesday, 21 May 2014
There is a woman I know,
There is a woman I know,
She looks like me,
And whenever I see her, she tells me I look fat. She tells me that the dress I am wearing doesn't suit me, that my hair is frizzy or my teeth aren't as white as they could be, she tells me that I CAN'T do it, even if I am sure I can.
She whispers this things to me. No-one else can hear her, just me. She plants the seeds of self-doubt and helps them to grow. It doesn't matter how I am feeling, whenever I see her, she is disappointed in me. It can be the silliest thing that she finds fault with, my knees, my arms. but when she points out the faults, I cannot think of anything else.
She says that she is doing it for my own good, that she is being honest in a way that no-one else can be. If she doesn't point these things out, then surely other people will see, and laugh, and judge.
I can go a long time without seeing her, I push her out of my life and ignore her. but she seems to always come worming back into my life, her poisonous words laced with honey as if to sweeten the blow. I have been known in the past to get changed after she has pointed out my flaws, sometimes to not even go out if she has been particularly cruel to me.
I haven't seen her for a while, she hasn't visited for a long time, I like it that way. I have confidence, I believe in myself, I trust myself and I am happy with how I look and the judgements that I make. IT is nicer without her judging me.
She is my biggest critic,
There is a woman I know,
She looks like me,
She is me.
Big Fashionista x x x
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She sounds like my mother in law. She also sounds like me to myself. We are our worst critics.
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me so much of the bit of my brain that was my depression (a weird wqy to put it I know)
ReplyDeleteThis was brilliantly written ^^
Sally
http://www.wheelingalong24.com
woah, dude, thats bloody deep man, waaaay too early for this haha TELL HER TO FUCK OFF CUZ YOU ARE AWESOME AS FUCK!
ReplyDeleteoh god this is waaay to deep for before 12pm haha TELL HER TO FUCK OFF CUZ YOU ARE AWESOME AS YOU IS ;) xx
ReplyDeleteI know a guy like this too. I think we probably all do. It's just some people are better at tuning them out than others x
ReplyDeleteYou rock like someone with a tremor on a rocking chair in a hurricane.
ReplyDeleteI love this post so much.
ReplyDeleteI love this post so much.
ReplyDeleteI think we all know a person like this ;)
ReplyDeleteEm
Em’s Mixed Bag