Thursday, 17 July 2014

Kate. A Baby? Or Just A Bread Roll?

I've decided that I feel terribly sorry for Princess Kate, Or Kate, or Kate Middleton, nee Windsor........... What the HELL are we meant to call her again? Anyone know?

The whispers in the tabloids this week are that she is with foal again and now people are watching her closer than the security guards watch me in Poundland. (closely) 

Poor thing, Can you imagine everyone scrutinising you every minute of every day to see if you are up the duff? I would hate it.

What if she was just holding in a fart?

As a princess she cannot exactly just let one rip in public can she? And now because of her politeness she is accused of ripening some crotchfruit again.

Perhaps she had eaten a bread roll, I find that I can bloat up like a puffer fish with a bread roll. Let the poor woman eat her bread in peace.

Why do we have such a fascination with their procreation anyway? One kid? Three kids? I don't know about you, but I really don't care about Royal sproglets anyway, unless it involves Kay Burley standing in 95 degree heat for three days again, interviewing some very strange people (Ah, fun times. Oh well, It kept her away from grieving relatives for a day or two, and that counts) 

If there is another Royal baby on the way, then so be it. but if not, let the poor woman fart in peace.

What say you?

Big Fashionista x x x



  1. 'ripening crotchfruit' YE GADS what a phrase haha!

  2. I can't tell you how much I love the phrase 'ripening crotchfruit', hardest I've laughed all week. I agree with you - I don't get why it's such big news and it must be frustrating for her to be constantly scrutinised. If people aren't saying she's ripening crotchfruit they're saying she's too slim. You can't win.

    Rosie x


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