Monday, 29 September 2014
Has X Factor Jumped The Shark?
Before I carry on, let's make it clear that I have probably watched X Factor EVERY year since it began.
Now that shit is out of the way, here is the deal.
I think it is an open secret that X Factor is fixed, right?
(and if that is news to you, you probably aren't going to want to carry on reading this)
The secret to the X Factor's ten years is that they used to keep it subtle. We knew who they wanted to win but viewers still held onto the hope that they were the ones who voted for the winner.
Those days are O-V-E-R.
This season, they aren't even pretending that we the public matter. This season all pretence has flown out of the window. It has now become SO outrageously OTT and pantomime that it truly is just a joke.
Cheryl Cole Fernandez Versini (Yeah I Googled it, shut it) has been brought back because of her ability to cry on demand, (plus, when they run out of ex X Factor contestants to perform during the Sunday night shows, Cheryl is there. Ready, willing and able to lip synch when necessary.
Louis Walsh is the back of the pantomime horse, he sold his soul to Simon a LONG time ago, he knows the deal and is more than willing to go all outrageous when the script requires it.
Mel B. She's there because Nicole Scherzinger had previous commitments. That shampoo won't sell itself you know.
And Simon Cowell thinks that he is the saviour of a show that has been going steadily downhill and has swept back in like a white knight ready to save the damsel in distress.
The only person in distress so far is me.
What has killed it dead for me is the six chair bootcamp challenge. It is like the producers all sat around getting high on their own supply and while out of their tiny little boxes tried to work out ways in which to REALLLLLLLLLLLY wring out the emotions of the victims, I mean contestants.
(Oh and the audience have began to remind me of peasants baying for blood while watching gladiators being thrown to the lions)
And there the 6 chair challenge was born. Sit down, stand up, sit back down, sing for us, I SAID SING, if you want it, YOU WILL SING.
And these contestants DO want it, they have been drip fed X Factor for the last ten years and are of the opinion that the only way to get totes famous is to be discovered on the X Factor. I don't think these contestants are gullible, I think they are blinded by hope. They are desperate for their chance and will do anything to get it, keep it and if it means they have to go against all that they stand for, well, it's for the right reasons, isn't it? No-one can think badly of them.
But X Factor isn't a singing competition, it is a money making machine that is hand-tooled and finely honed to create a lot of money, be that adverts, the tour, the merchandise. (It is the Manchester United of the TV world, we know they've gone downhill, but those glory days will take a long time to be forgotten)
A good money-making machine will need a script. We will need a baddie, the one the media hates. We will need someone who is AWFUL, who keeps avoiding being voted off somehow until near the end when they are voted off and people then love them. (Rylan, Christopher, Chico) There will be the X Factor DARLING, who will fly under the radar until about half way through when suddenly they are given a song which makes everyone sit up and notice them, they will get excellent staging and setting and suddenly you will wonder why you hadn't really noticed them before.
It is all getting far too cliche for me. I have began to treat the X Factor as nothing more than a glorified soap opera. I feel sorry for the contestants that truly hope that they won't be chewed up and spat out by the X Factor machine, it feels as if by the time their eyes are opened to what is truly going on, it is too late for them.
My question for you today,
Will you be watching X Factor this year?
Or has it well and truly jumped the shark?
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x x
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