With Christmas fast approaching and Christmas adverts getting more and more like films, it is heartening to see old favourites like Duracell on my screen talking about putting Duracell batteries in toys to make them last longer.
Bless their innocence, I'm the person that takes batteries OUT of things after they have driven me to distraction for 24 hours, or swaps out one new battery for an old one so it doesn't last as long (pro tip, right there)
Then I notice that Duracell are using a FURBY in their advert. Seriously Duracell, if there was EVER a thing that didn't need it's battery life extending....
Furbys are the work of the devil. I used to have one myself, (Yes, I was an adult, I bloody loved it.) I don't know what happened to it, but I KNOW it is sitting wherever it went, just WAITING for me to come back. Furbys don't die, they just sleep, and wait...... FOREVER.
When Furbys came back, I remembered my old Furby with fondness, (forgetting all the times it had sat on a shelf laughing to itself in the middle of the night, freaking me out) and thought it would make a great gift for one of my children.
NO, just no.
Evil, wrapped in fur, that's what they are. You know those baby dolls that never stop crying? Even when they are meant to? They are AMATEURS compared to a Furby. No matter where you hide it, it will find you, it has no concept of time, it can be the middle of the night and it will call to you. You may not have seen it for a week or two (where DO they go?) but when you least expect it, it will open its eyes and spout gobbledygook like a possessed gerbil on Halloween, scaring the living SHIT out of you.
Furbys don't CARE whether you are tired, whether you are pregnant or whether you have a heart condition, it just wants to EAT YOUR FINGER.
And Duracell tell us, "No battery lasts longer"? I'm sorry Duracell but if I EVER have to have a Furby in my house again, once I have had it exorcised, the last thing I am going to do is put long-lasting batteries in it. Poundland batteries or NOTHING.
Although part of me worries that it would still keep going. Evil little buggers.
What do you think? Do you share my distrust of Furbys? Or do you have fond memories of the little bastards?
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x