Thursday, 18 December 2014

Dear Santa (Kids)

It is the time of the year when my children suddenly panic realise that they haven't bought me anything for Christmas and get round to asking me what I want.  So for my beloved children, here is my list of things that they don't have to spend money on.

Dear Crotchfruit Beloved Children, 

You asked me what I want for Christmas, and my first request is this,

Just let me go to the toilet ONCE on my own. I've heard it is peaceful, I've even heard that occasionally, people are able to read a book on the toilet, I'm sure I too used to do that BC (before children) Now, the minute my arse hits the seat, one of many things happen, suddenly there is a queue, (We have TWO toilets, how does this happen?) or you have an overwhelming desire to tell me/show me something that cannot wait even two minutes. Sometimes there is an argument, right outside the door, (That is always fun) and sometimes, (and this is my favourite) someone will stand right outside the door and ask, "What are you doing? Are you having a poo? Oooooh, ooooh, you ARE, you are.

I think I would like to pee in peace, if you can arrange that, I would be grateful.

My second request is that you put things down in a place where you can actually find them. (I may need to make this part clearer) YOU CAN FIND THEM. (Am I asking for too much here? What I would really like is to get to the time you need to leave for school and NOT then have to spend ten minutes looking for football socks/book bags/pens. And I'm not sure if I need to do this as a separate request but if I can't find the aforementioned football socks/book bags/pens, how about we DON'T blame me for it.

Can I also ask you to clean your rooms? (Hahahahahahahaha, joking, I know, I know, I'm so greedy)

Dear Beloved Children, the most important thing that I ask from you this Christmas, is that you continue to laugh, you continue to be happy, you continue to smile and you carry on being the amazing children that you are in 2015.

That is the most important thing that I want from you this Christmas.

(And if we can throw in at least one trip to the bathroom without being bothered, I'd be grateful)

Much Love,


What would YOU ask of your children this Christmas?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x



  1. As this ends on such a sweet note! Hope you have a great and kinda peaceful holiday xx

  2. One of the best Christmas wish lists I've ever read. Love this & hope you get to pee in peace next year


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