Congratulations, you won't win, you are a nobody, but you get to slap a bit of lippy on and trip trap down a red carpet in a pretty dress you didn't pay for.
So, you are in pretty good shape, boobs are nice and perky, vagina hair is trimmed, I'm talking neatly trimmed not Kardashian trimmed here.
What do you wear?
I tell you what you DON'T wear, you don't wear this.
Lady, I don't know who the fuck you are, and I'm guessing that that is kind of the point, I'm meant to see if I can google you, aren't I?
I imagine you have given lots of late night fashion editors a huge headache as they tried to work out if you were a Kardashian, Rita Ora, Lady Gaga trying something new or perhaps Renee Zellweger trying out a new lipstick or something.
I am ALL for individuality, I do not believe that people should have to follow trends, but I do believe you should work out WHAT you are going to wear before you are in the car on the way to The Grammys when suddenly inspiration strikes.
And THAT, my friends, is what you call an o-fence-ive dress.
Big Fashionista x x