Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Size Doesn't Matter



Nope, I'm not talking about penises here, (Is it penises? Peni? Help, I don't know) what I am talking about here is the size of someones body.

Big, small, tall, fat, thin. Isn't it wonderful that no two people are the same shape? You could weigh exactly the same as another person and be a completely different shape to them. I find that amazing.

What I don't find so amazing, is when people feel they have a right to comment, pass judgement, sneer, or talk about, another persons body shape.

If you take time out of your schedule to comment on the size of my arse, I am going to make the judgement that you are so insecure in your own skin that you cannot handle other people being comfortable in theirs.

Some people are FAT, some people are thin. Some people are healthy and some people are ill and these categories can, and will be mixed up, not every fat person is ill, and not every thin person is healthy.

It is time to get the fuck over anyone else's body shape other than your own. If you are happy with how you look, Fan-fucking-tastic. If you are unhappy with your shape and choose to do something about it, GOOD FOR YOU.

Your body, your own goddamn business. People need to spend less time being worried that there are people out there "glorifying obesity" and be more worried about why they want to put people down for their shape.

When I look at a person, I never judge them on their shape, I judge them on whether they are friendly, I judge them on how they treat other people, whether they are kind to animals, and whether they fancy Tom Hardy or not, the last thing I would ever, ever judge a person on is what size clothing they wear,

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER. 

and the sooner people realise that in this world we have more important things to get indignant over than body shape, the happier I will be.




PS, Cannot wait to see all the babes in Plus Size Wars tonight, Good luck to all of them and if anyone out there is thinking about taking time out of their day to bitch on social media about the size of these women, here is a handy diagram for what to do with your opinion.








Any thoughts?


Let me know,


Big Fashionista x x x



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51 comments

  1. Don't judge people based on how they look?

    Very admirable sentiment.

    Perhaps take a look at your own "Nom or Vom" section.

    Irony much?

    Sheesh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is such a shame you felt the need to say this anonymously, I welcome constructive criticism and am fully aware some people don't like Nom or Vom.

      However, I think you missed the point as I say I don't judge people on THEIR BODY SHAPE!!!!

      Delete
    2. Besides the fact that Nom or Vom is a bit of light-hearted fun about people's different personal tastes, NOT about making someone feel bad about themselves. That's how I take it anyways.

      Delete
  2. I totally agree with you. I have spent the last few weeks fretting about being a plus sized bride, but yesterday I looked absolutely beautiful and anyone who says otherwise is just a twat

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am certainly not your average looking beauty. Society would probably say I should start wearing make up, lose some weight, start doing something with my hair. But I won't. Because I love myself. I love my face. I love my bodyfat. I love my hair and the way it falls when I do nothing at all to it. I'm fabulous. Nobody has to agree on that, most important is that I think I am. I wish more people would think they are fab. Because they are. For sure.
    The picture you attached made me laugh so hard. While I was eating. Now there is rice all over my table. Thank you. I love laughing ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  4. If we are looking at soneone as a sexual being then of course we decide if we 'fancy' them or not. We all like different types and it is usually based on looks at least at first. Though I do find that as you get to know a 'nice' person they get better looking and when you know a nasty person they get worse looking over time.

    I look at people as people. I don't 'judge' them. but I do make decisions as to if I fancy them or not. some I do and some I don't. If I don't, then unless they asked me I wouldn't tell them because that is mean! Yelling
    'hey you are fat'
    'hey I don't fancy you'
    'hey you are not my type'
    'hey you are too flat chested for me'
    are all unecessary and insulting.

    Nom or Vom is of course a light hearted look at men and women in the public eye who often (though not always) use their looks as part of their job. Commenting here about which we fancy, and which we don't, seems mild, emailing them or tweeting them to say they are ugly would of course be rude. but that's not what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous due to seeing your venom directed at people previously.

    How you think it's ok to judge people based on looks but abhorrent based on size is hypocrisy at its most glorious.

    That you draw a distinction to hide your hypocrisy is shameful.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have to agree with the fellow anonymous commenter.

    I don't have a particular issue with Nom or Vom, but I do have an issue with this glaring double standard - when you say, 'I don't judge people on THEIR BODY SHAPE!!!!' you're basically saying that you do, though, judge people on other characteristics, also of which are not always within the realms of human control. What's the difference? Why is it ok to judge people on facial features, but not on their body shape? (Personally I think neither is ok).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all judge. Everyone judges people on something. Everyone.

      Delete
    2. I don't deny that, but then not everyone has a blog where one minute it's okay, and the next it's not. If you judge, judge, but to then post a blog telling people to not judge, is totally conflicting messaging. Is this a body-positive blog, but people's faces/physical features are fair game?

      Actually, I'd feel much more hurt reading riddles of 'voms' about me because my nose is a bit big or I've got big round cheeks or my acne is terrible (things I can't change), than someone actively judging me for being overweight (I can change this - I realise not everyone can, but yeah). I just don't think that's really a great excuse.

      Delete
    3. I think you will find I'm not making excuses. Plus, I kind of don't think Tom Hardy reads my blog.

      Delete
    4. @anon: That's the difference. Someone may find you unattractive and it's their right to have that opinion. That doesn't mean they judge you, though. They could still be very interested in befreinding you, hanging out and so on. Not everyone can be physically attracted to you and they have the right to say that, yet, they should not (and probably don't) judge YOU AS A PERSON based on their level of attraction towards you.

      Delete
  7. There is a big difference between saying what you find attractive and judging someone, in the 'you should do this about your body' way.

    If I play Nom or VOm it's about me and what I fancy, I don't suggest the person change. They are just maybe not for me. it's all about ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. But it's not ok to judge people, according to your post. This is getting surreal. Can you really not see that tagging someone as Vom is equally mean or judgemental?

    I guess not. Luckily, I doubt the people that you seek to judge will ever read your judgements.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nom or Vom is whether you fancy them or not, Nom yes, Vom no.

      You don't come here often, do you?

      Delete
  9. Keep telling yourselves that while you polish your plastic halos.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't take anonymous comments seriously.

    What you mean is

    I ignore those comments because that way I don't have to dig up some reasoned response to their points and can just brush them off. If they don't want to show themselves, no matter what the reason, then I don't have to respect the opinion that differs from mine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh so you are watching my Twitter? Good to know.

      Please don't ever assume that you know what I mean. Don't make up a scenario in your head and then present it as a fact.

      Delete
  11. Your aggressive attacks on. Anyone who does disagree with you suggest that you do not welcome debate and people are correct to avoid detailing who they are. You are quite the bully when you want.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sending again because of the bloody phone
    I agree so much with this!
    Your bum is amazing! I've never seen it but it's amazing because well you're amazing so the rest of you will be! I agree that size doesn't matter and it's disgusting that people judge others on it. I judge on personality so if you're nice to me I'll be nice back

    ReplyDelete
  13. Life is too damn short. Enjoy what you've been given and stop the hating on each other. :-) xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. Who has the right to judge people purely based on their body shape? I'm fat, I happily admit that, always have been. Yes I was ridiculed and bullied about it, still am, do I give a flying wotsit? Nope. As far as I'm concerned it's their problem, not mine.

    I do judge people on how they treat me or anyone else who doesn't fit the supposed "normal" ideal. I tend to assume that they have no confidence or love of themselves so have to take their vitriol out on other people. Like I said, their problem not mine.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Actually, I'd love to see some chubby blokes on Nom or Vom. Hairy ones too.

    [misses point entirely]

    Dear Anon,
    Stop gaslighting and get a grip.
    Kisses,
    Lippie

    ReplyDelete
  16. Body shaming is not cool, ever. We should all be members of the sisterhood and bringing each other up rather than knocking each other down. Nom or Vom is different as they guys are diverse so all types are catered for. I know is I say vom its normally because I don't like beards or hes not my type. I don't shame anyone by commenting negatively on them. What actually promote me to comment is I I disliked what someone was writing so much, I wouldn't waste my time reading it. I certainly wouldn't comment or spend any of my precious time giving it a second thought. I certainly wouldn't then go on to insult the writer after I have accused them of similar. Basically my time is too precious for such negativity and so it baffles me why someone would be bothered when they seemingly don't like the writer or the blog. I agree totally with the sentiment of the blog and am a full card carrying member of the sisterhood. We are all beautiful, even if sometimes society tells us we aren't. Lets not attack each other, lets instead attack the notion of body shaming.
    I am only using anonymous as I don't have any of the accounts it asks for.

    Jo aka @tinkerdori

    ReplyDelete
  17. NomorVom is the blogsphere equivalent of that SATC episode where Carrie and Charlotte sit down at a terrace to play this game where they look at guys and rate whether they would date or not.

    It's not about judging people's looks, criticising sizes of butts, calling people names or whatever. It's whether you fancy someone or not. I see Nom/Vom as a post on what makes someone sexy and what they have that makes them not your type. It's a different kind of conversation.

    It may be appropriate or not, or sexist, and that is a debate that I'm sure many readers of this blog would find very interesting and thought-provoking. BUT, I don't think it's the same as body shaming.

    I don't see the author of this blog as one with double-standards, or a hypocrite. Opinionated, yes, funny, yes, but definitively not an hypocrite...or a bully.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Why don't people have balls anymore? Why do you have to be anonymous?! Are you afraid? If you have an opinion, have it. Own it. Fuck the fat/thin thing, I'm more annoyed that people don't have the capacity to nail their colours to the wall anymore. If you think someone is wrong, say they're wrong and put your fucking name to it. Could you not just come and say "Kellie, I don't agree with you and I think you are talking shite" without being all "I can't reveal myself because you will get agressive with me" FOR FUCK SAKE.

    I haven't seen Plus Size Wars. But I'll not be checking the hashtag, or reading anything involving the words "Katie Hopkins" over the next day or two.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You all seem far more concerned with who people are than what they are saying. A good point doesn't need to be identified with anyone to be a good point.

    Sharon.... Take a look at the language in your reply. Aggression, expletives and frustration. That is precisely what people who want to make a point want to avoid. You have perfectly illustrated why people don't want to attract attention personally.

    People have many reasons for posting anonymously. None of them are your concern, business or right to know. Shyness, nervousness, fear for a few. If someone is nervous of posting a comment, but felt strongly enough to do so, anonymously or otherwise, do you think your responses are the correct or supportive way to "welcome" their debate? The same goes for the snarling sarcasm "you don't come here often, do you?" From the blogger earlier in this thread. The commenter clearly gets what nom or vm is about or They wouldn't have commented at all.

    Labelling people as trolls, haters or any other crass title just so that you can dismiss what they opine is lazy, tired and childish. And it is bullying.

    If you cannot accept that nom or vom is judging people on physical attributes in the same way that fat shaming is, then you you are being deliberately and deceptively selective.

    As for mentions of Katie Hopkins, I automatically distrust anyone who claims to be saying what others are thinking but not saying. It invariably means they are simply shouting louder and not noticing all of the people wincing as they rarely speak what ANYONE is thinking.

    Have your nom or vom. My feelings are that it is lazy, pointless and purile Along with hardly being original. But don't be upset if some sets up a similar "harmless Internet game" called "Marry or Not If I Couldn't Carry?" I somehow feel that you all wouldn't be so quick to write a size based game off as fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I swear when I get annoyed. I apologise if you were offended by my language, I will try and be more eloquent in this reply. The level of anonymity afforded to people online is something that I disagree with wholeheartedly. You are obviously an intelligent person with strong opinions, so why can't you put your name to them? That's what annoyed me here. I always thought Nom or Vom was a simple yes/no question - would you? I've never felt it was an outlet to bitch about a celebrity's eyes or nose or gut. Anyway, I automatically distrust anyone who hasn't got the courage to put their name to their opinion. Being able to stand up for what you believe is right or wrong is admirable and shouldn't be something hide behind - unless you're saying one thing here and another somewhere else. But I'm sure that's not the case - have a lovely Humpday!

      Delete
  20. Dear Anonymous,

    Don't be surprised at the blatant hypocrisy here. The blogger wrote an article about the word Troll being bandied about with Sarah Vine posts, then dismisses anyone who doesn't want to put a name to their opinion as Trolls.

    Hypocrisy is a running theme here. I stopped reading a while back because of the hypocrisy and the venous rebuttal of any view other than the blogger or the sycophants that run to her rallying call. As a woman, I see more value elsewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Firstly, I've not called ANYONE here a troll! Differing opinions does not a troll make. BUT i guess you feel it is ok to call people fat instead?

      You say you don't read my blog anymore,

      Yet here you are. Thanks for the page view

      Delete
    2. Today you have, on Twitter, posted the following comments.

      "I care about others opinions."
      "I'm a nice person and anonymous opinions don't matter to me at all."

      If you can't see the mixed messages and hypocrisy there, then there is no hope.


      And then there is this.
      "I blame Katie Hopkins and the media for this current shitstorm, inflammatory comments get you column inches, and columns."

      You even have the same bio as Katie Hopkins. You are not just saying what I am thinking. Nor what many others think. You then target Katie Hopkins for doing exactly what you claim to do. Katie Hopkin's views may well be despicable and vile. And you don't have to agree with them. I don't. But maybe the reason she gets the column inches is because she writes more eloquently and without swearing in every other sentence. Maybe it's because she embraces the conflict of differing views and plays around with it. Maybe she just writes well. Even terrible things can be written well. I'm sure that you would love to be asked to write about "saying what people are thinking". It seems unlikely at the moment. Unprofessional jealousy.

      Writing off people's opinions because they are anonymous is ridiculous. You want discussion, but eschew the views of people that don't allow you to judge them. Shame on you.

      I, and hopefully the other anonymous posters, have not been sat waiting for an opportunity to tell you what we think of you under the cloak of anonymity. I'm certain that I don't spend my time being that vindictive, nor watching what you write and waiting for a flaw. I was directed to this article, read it, agreed with bits of it and disagreed with others. I DID judge your writing ability and the manner that you choose to portray yourself. My conclusions on that judgement will stay private. I felt compelled to point out the hypocrisy of your "Don't judge people" message when the "Nom or Vom" label was just above it. Your inability to take criticism, constructive or otherwise, made me want to find out if this is a recurring theme. It seems to be.

      Either agree that people judge people on many different criteria or don't do it. You can't have your cake and eat it.

      Delete
    3. There is so much wrong with this comment that I don't even know how to begin. I pressed publish because I never censor opinions, whether I agree with them or not, but you say you don't watch what I write and then rattle off my tweets.


      Nope, not even going to bite.

      Delete
  21. I see not all comments get published. So much for lack of sensorship. Anyone would think you were avoiding addressing the issues of your contributors

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every comment gets published. If I was censoring comments, don't you think I would censor some of the ones above?


      I think you need to step away from the Internet for a while. You are obviously spoiling for an argument I refuse to give you.

      Delete
  22. I have read some of your posts purely out of interest and to learn how NOT to behave. You are in fact a total hypocrite, I don't think you actually remember what you have written half the time!! You continously judge people for their looks, you judge people's clothing choices but yet you don't judge people by their size/shape, how does that work? You criticise other people's opinions yet you don't like other criticising yours!! You share your personal circumstances with everyone and their Mother purely for attention seeking. You say you are proud of how you are but then you publish your on a diet, I think you maybe a little confused!! You say your happy (this week) that your a size 20. I personally would be mortified if I was a size 20. Not only due to what I would look like but more importantly the health related issues that go with being obese. You fail to mention the importance of being a healthy weight, you have obviously not read the NHS reports relating to obesity and the cost it causes the NHS. You need to take a long hard look at yourself!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, you are right, completely right. Oh so right in everything you say. The world thanks you for your wisdom and for imparting your knowledge and understanding of my life. The world owes you one now.

      Delete
  23. And where did you get your medical degree from then?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh dear God, a medical degree.....really??!! Where have you been hiding??!!
    Please don't criticise me for having an opinion or being anon!
    If you don't like the replies don't enable anon comments or just don't have any comments at all.
    Unfortunately by publicly displaying your own thoughts and opinions you are inviting others to either agree or disagree, which you should be able to accept with dignity and not mock.
    As for personal info, do we really need to know when your on your period??!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My period? You do know that periods are not something to be ashamed of, right? I don't exactly Instagram my used tampons.

      Delete
    2. WOW. Just WOW!!! Ahahahahahaha

      Delete
  25. If I had of written your size doesn't matter post I would have included sometime like. ...

    Being happy in your own skin is important but don't forget the health issues surrounding obesity. Remember to keep an eye on your health, have regular check ups, make sure your blood pressure is normal. If you need any diet or healthy living advice go to healthy living NHS website.

    Like I said put your opinions out there expect to get them back!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See this comment is much better. I respect this comment much more than where you open with "and learn how not to behave" that's not constructive, or relevant. Here you have stuck to facts, and I respect that.

      You would have done things differently. That's fabulous. If you have a blog I would love to read an article, feel free to link to it below if you wish.

      Delete
  26. I'm actually going to jump in here, where normally I would just keep my mouth shut. Anon, I personally don't care what your opinions on 'fat' people are, I don't agree with them, but that i still don't care.

    I'm not as anon would class as fat, I'm a size 10/12, and I couldn't care less if Kellie is a size 20. If she is, as anon assumes, risking her health, then is that not up to her?! And how does this effect you? As i said, im not 'fat' but what size kellie is, is of no interest to me.I follow Kellie on twitter and read her posts because I enjoy doing so. So my question to anon is why on earth do you clearly torture yourself following her on twitter and reading and commenting on her blog?? Whether you agree with everything she says or (as you obviously do) detest and disagree so badly with her, then find someone with similar opinions and spend sometime enjoying twitter and social media instead of getting angry and throwing insults.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I'm actually going to jump in here, where normally I would just keep my mouth shut. Anon, I personally don't care what your opinions on 'fat' people are, I don't agree with them, but that i still don't care.

    I'm not as anon would class as fat, I'm a size 10/12, and I couldn't care less if Kellie is a size 20. If she is, as anon assumes, risking her health, then is that not up to her?! And how does this effect you? As i said, im not 'fat' but what size kellie is, is of no interest to me.I follow Kellie on twitter and read her posts because I enjoy doing so. So my question to anon is why on earth do you clearly torture yourself following her on twitter and reading and commenting on her blog?? Whether you agree with everything she says or (as you obviously do) detest and disagree so badly with her, then find someone with similar opinions and spend sometime enjoying twitter and social media instead of getting angry and throwing insults.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Jaysus wept. What a shitstorm that turned into. :O

    Moving on, I think this post is great. I also think Vom Or Nom is a bit of fun. You post photos of people SOMEONE finds atrractive, often at the request of your readers, and leave it up to them to decide if THEY fancy them. I don't see where the hypocrisy exists here.

    This post was supposed to be a positive thing, and it's been hijacked by pedants. Anon pedants at that.

    ReplyDelete

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