Yesterday, I decided, was the day that me and my thick untameable hair was going to get along well. It was freshly washed, not dry, I have been feeding it Vita Coco Coconut oil for a while and I THOUGHT that we had an understanding.
So I thought that I would be okay to introduce some product into our relationship.
Salt spray, I thought I would start to ease my hair in gently,
"Create a care-free, ocean fresh look, with full tousled texture, windswept waves or piecey perfection" said the bottle.
"Oh," said my hair "Ronald Macdonald? Is that the look you are going for? Got it"
and just like that, my hair had once again sucked up a product and spat it back in my face like a toddler trying apple puree for the very first time.
I DO NOT SEE AN OCEAN FRESH LOOK HERE!
The problem with having thick hair is that, not only does it have a life of its own, it has a mind of it's own too.
"Hi, Hair. I am going to apply this oil to you, it should make you sleek and tame the frizz"
Hair looks at bottle. bottle looks at hair.
Cue, GREASE EXPLOSION.
"IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?" sneers hair.
I can't even look at at a hair brush without my hair going on strike, and by strike I mean. If you strike a match within 50ft of me, you will singe my hair. THAT IS HOW LARGE IT WILL BE.
You know you see the hair tutorials that will give you a "Beautiful up-do in just three easy steps"?
With thick hair, you can add seven more steps minimum, two of them will involve crying, two will involve looking for more hair grips than you actually have hair, and at least one more will involve swearing at the creator of the aforementioned tutorial for having such beautiful sleek hair.
When you have thick hair that has a mind of it's own, you also need to be aware that on the days that you have managed to wrestle your hair into submission and get it looking reasonably sleek, if there is even a drop of moisture in the air, in fact, even if someone turns on a tap near you. YOUR HAIR WILL REVERT TO IT'S NATURAL STATE AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO WITH IT. It is over, kiss goodbye to sleekness.
If it rains, and you get caught in the rain, you may get five minutes where your hair is damp and it looks GOOD, you can get rain ringlets, the halo that usually surrounds your hair will be flattened and you cannot stop staring at your hair that is weighted down with rain. And then it dries.
You are your hair's bitch now. YOU LOSE.
Carry hair bobbles.
Don't get me wrong, I like having thick hair. I am so mean to my hair that I am shocked it still hangs around, however. Just once I would like beach waves. Ronald MacDonald is so 1990's isn't it?
Who else suffers from thick hair with a brain of it's own?
Let me know how you manage to tame it, or have you learnt to just go with the flow too?
Big Fashionista x x x