Wednesday, 10 June 2015
Why is my body not my own? WHO MAKES THE DECISIONS ABOUT MY BODY?
Currently, I feel as if my body is not mine.
In fact, I do not even feel as if I am a person in my own right. What I am is, a breeder, an incubator, a vessel. I am put on the earth to HAVE MANS BABIES.
What makes me feel this way?
I have just come home from my doctor appointment, where quite reasonably, I have asked to be sterilised. I am 39 years old, I have three wonderful children, the youngest of which is nine. I have created a family and now, after many years of hormones in my body, periods that can stop me in my tracks and various methods of birth control, I don't want to do this any more.
The doctor listened while I explained all of the reasons above and more, she nodded and made noises in all the right places and then asked what my partner thought about it all. Was he happy with finishing our family now? I explained that he was not the father of my three children and he had no children of his own and her face dropped.
This lead to me then being offered many, many, many alternatives to sterilisation, the pill, the coil, to go away and discuss it with my partner, because she was concerned that HE didn't have children and HE may change his mind. She pressed me on whether he wanted children, (he doesn't) How old was he, How would I feel if, after I had the operation, he changed his mind and wanted children. She went back to offering me the coil, even after I quite firmly stated that I did not want any more children, as if it was my DUTY to wait patiently in case my partner changed his mind in the future.
I am not an incubator that can be put in standby mode.
I calmly told her that we had discussed this. I do not want any more children, my partner does not want any children of his own and I would like to move forward with a referral for sterilisation.
At which point I was again asked, "but what if he changes his mind?"
BANGS HEAD ON TABLE.
Why is it that I cannot go to a doctor's surgery and make a decision about MY OWN BODY like this without the consideration of my partners POSSIBLE needs being put above my own.
And this is all for a referral, this isn't even talking to the gynaecologist, who may ask these questions again. "What if he changes his mind?"
I'm surprised the doctor didn't send me home with a note for my partner to sign, giving his permission.
Surely, MY BODY, MY CHOICE.
Why is this even happening? Am I alone in being asked these questions? OR is this the standard behaviour of a Doctor with sterilisation?
I'm confused, angry and at this moment, I do not feel as if I have control or own my own body or am able to make the decisions about it.
I would love your opinions on this.
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