Monday, 11 April 2016

50 Shades Of Teal



I feel like every post that I write about my upcoming wedding needs to be prefixed with,

"I am no Bridezilla, but.........."

Now, I am no Bridezilla, but why the hell are there so many goddamn shades of colours that DO NOT MATCH each other and look nothing like the shade they are on photographs or online.

Was that a tad too Bridezilla?

(Think extremely carefully before answering that one)




So the colour scheme of my wedding is teal, (Perhaps now, you have that information, you can stop asking my children for information. Just saying.)  Now, in 2016, I do not consider teal to be an unusual colour for a wedding. I'm not the first bride ever to choose teal. I don't get to name the bloody colour because I found it or created it, it is teal. TEAL.

And yet, WHY IS IT, that there are, approximately three thousands shades of the damn colour and not one of them matches each other?

Picture the scene.

So the wonderful shop assistant takes me over to the napkin aisle.

"And here we have some beautiful teal napkins"

And the bride in my head screams.

"THIS IS A GODDAMN LIE, THEY ARE FUCKING BLUE AND I WILL NOT HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT IT." 

whilst I smile sweetly and say, "They aren't EXACTLY the shade I am looking for"

The shop assistant looks confused.

"But they are teal"

OH BITCH YOU DIDN'T.

(Is now the right time to insert another Bridezilla disclaimer? )

It is simple, I do not want to walk around with a Pantone chart in my bag. I shouldn't HAVE TO. There should be a standard colour, if it is teal, it is fucking teal. Not blue, not green, NOT AQUA or goddamn JADE. it is teal. TEAL.

Even Google doesn't understand what Teal is,



What fresh hell is this, Google? You aren't helping here. These cannot ALL be teal. Because if they are, I GIVE UP. I JUST GIVE UP. I am picking up all my teal coloured toys, and throwing them out of my teal coloured pram.

Stick it, Google. Stick it colour charts. STICK IT.

Look, I am sure I cannot be the first bride to experience this lack of uniformity in colour or be completely exasperated by the difference? 50 Shades of pink? blue? silver? Did you know that there are many, many, MANY shades of silver. It is SILVER. For the love of Pantone, Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?


I don't WANT to be a Bridezilla, but am I wrong? It isn't me, is it? It is SOCIETY, driving me to the edge of bridezilladom and then TIPPING ME OVER THE BLOODY EDGE.

Isn't it?

ISN'T IT?


Let me know.




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12 comments

  1. Hope you find the teal you want, who know what a minefield colour themes could be. I was all cream with bridesmaids in light rose so don't remember this. My first smaller wedding abroad had a hint of yellow in the flowers. Yours will be amazing and the 'pain' will be worth it!

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  2. Spring teal
    .. Summer teal

    Arrrrgh

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  3. For the love of Pantone shall be my reaction to everything hence forth! Hope the real issues don't leave you feeling blue ;)
    Love Lucinda xx

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  4. "For the love of pantone!" this has quite simply MADE MY DAY. Babe, I know exactly where you are coming from, however, because I had a multitude of different colours I didn't quite have the same problem. Breath deeply & count to ten.
    Bee xxx

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  5. You have gone full Bridezilla, I'm afraid. But I love you anyway ;)

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  6. Oh wow I didn't realise there was so many shades of teal! Haha it's a beaut colour though and I hope you find the exact shade that you're looking for!!
    Dei
    www.sunnydei.com

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  7. As the sister of a colour specialist (yes this is a real job), I FULLY appreciate the struggle here. Colour matching is actually one hell of a lot more complicated than people will ever realise and there is a whole industry behind it. This isn't Bridezilla, this is simply attention to detail.

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  8. SHOW EM YOUR HAIR. POINT. *THIS BITCH, THIS IS TEAL*

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  9. Yeah your matching ( or maybe not matching) your wedding with your hair xx

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  10. I had teal bridesmaid dresses ... everyone had a a different dress but the multiple shades really looked fantastic together and I love the fact that they didn't match - made things feel more whimsical!

    C xx
    CurvyGirlThin.com

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  11. I love this! I had this exact same meltdown when I chose teal for my wedding. I ended up changingredients the colour scheme because it annoyed me that much.

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  12. I realised I'm late to this party, but I've chosen teal and already resigned myself that I'm going to have to go for a mismatched teal look as it's never going to all be the same colour.

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