Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Dear Facebook "Friend"

More and more recently I am finding myself rolling my eyes at "friends" on Facebook and hitting that unfriend button faster than I would hit on Olivia Wilde at a singles night.

Whilst I totally agree with the fact that people can write what the HELL they want to on their own Facebook pages, I reserve the right to say that it is utter bullshit and erase them from my life if I should so choose.

But I can be a bit of a coward and just unfriend them without a word, but occasionally I do want to write on their posts something along the lines of,

Dear Facebook friend,

I am unfollowing you because of your incessant use of "Inspirational Quotes" illustrated with Minions. Minions? Fucking Minions? Are you having a laugh? You are going through a difficult time and you can get your strength from wherever you wish but if the best you can find is a Minion who, let's be honest, most inspirational quote was, BA-NA-NA then may  I suggest that your problems are deeper than you can ever  imagine. You have worked my last nerve, I am out of here.


Dear Facebook friend,

I am not interested in your shitty game, I do not want your shitty requests to send you fruit, hugs and I have so far resisted the urge to respond to your requests for lives with a comment along the lines of, I WISH YOU WOULD GET ONE. You have worked my last nerve, I am out of here. Have a nice life, when they refill.

I'm not wrong, am I?

What would you want to say to Facebook friends before you unfriended them? Let me know, and yes, you CAN use the Anonymous option if you wish.

Let me know.



  1. Dear Facebook friend

    I don't want to see all of your baby pictures. I really don't

  2. Totally feel it on the baby pics and general boring mummy posts,go to mumsnet!

    Also please keep politics off facebook, I've deleted so hard the ignorant anti Muslim memes and other intolerant posts I don't want to see and now it's all the Brexit posts

    The trouble with facebook is you tend to acquire too many acquaintances and not real friends (who you went to school with 20 years ago) and then you have all these views clogging up your feed; the over sharers, narcissists and depressed. Facebook has also evolved from a place to connect with friends and family as now it's also full of businesses, charities, adverts and other pages and you can find a constant stream of negativity in your feed. I guess you can be relentless at unfollowing, deleting and updating settings but who has the time... overall I think it used to be fun but it's had it's day.

    I maybe need to delete the whole thing and start again or just not bother, the latter seems preferable... as I also hate the privacy issues and the way it's become so insidious that you feel if you're not on there you're some kind of weird social leper...

  3. I agree with all of you as it is monotonous at best. My pet peeve is when people post selfies and everyone says the same thing over and over again. Beautiful, pretty, lovely, gorgeous, etc. Erm, are we looking at the same picture? Because, quite frankly, I just don't see it. Selfies are just fishing for compliments to fulfill their self-aggrandisement and nothing more. FB is a narcissistic cesspool of braggarts and boasters.

  4. Dear Facebook Friend

    A baby is a human & I shall post a zillion pictures an hour if I choose to as they are on MY WALL so unfriend me if you want, I shall not be offended, not one little bit.

    But that there, that you post every movement of, that is an animal.

    Moan about a human yet do the same with an animal?

    Facebook annoys me


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