Ok, I am in shock. Apparently, as a woman. I have been doing Facebook ALL WRONG!!
Who knew? I didn't, did you? Now thankfully, Andy Hill, of The Metro, is here to tell us, where and how, women are doing Facebook all wrong.
What WOULD WE DO WITHOUT HIM?
I will link to the
Firstly, women, we must stop saying it is "Wine O'Clock" Apparently, there is no such time.
Andy, THANK GOD FOR YOU. I genuinely thought that this was a real time and that I HAD to partake of a Shiraz at a certain time of the evening. But wait, Andy then goes ahead and gives us permission to neck a bottle of wine for breakfast if we want to. I think Andy is a dick.
Next, Andy suggests we stop it with the snapshots of mediocre food. Oh he then wittily adds a picture of what looks like a turd on a plate just to really hammer home what mediocre food it. Andy is such a card.
Passive aggressive status updates are next on the list for Andy. Newsflash Andy, This is not exclusively done by women. Some of the post passive aggressive statements on social media are by men. (Cough, Donald Trump, cough) Also Andy drops in that we must stop mentioning when we are going to have/have just had a friend cull. AGAIN, this is not just women. Anyone else starting to think that Andy has a problem with women?
Andy turns his attention to women firstly showing off and then moaning about their kids next. I worry that Andy has far too much time on his hands. At this point, may I suggest that Andy needs to deactivate HIS Facebook, or have a cull. He doesn't even have to announce he is having a cull. he can just do it. I recommend it. The poor man is obviously STRESSED OUT by social media, and women, He is REALLY stressed out by women. (I think Andy is single, or has recently been dumped)
Do you know what I am sick of, Andy from The Metro? I AM SICK of MEN/MEDIA/EVERYONE trying to tell women what they should or shouldn't do. From what we WEAR, to what we post on Facebook. Somewhere out there, there will be a concerned MAN, telling us that we are doing it WRONG. ALL WRONG. "HERE IS HOW YOU SHOULD DO IT WOMEN, Let me show you the CORRECT WAY to do it. THIS is the way I WANT you to do it.
FUCK OFF, I am SICK of it. Absolutely sick of it. It is MY body, My Facebook, My rules. I will live my life MY WAY. I don't live my life for men, so I will NOT run it the way they want me to.
How about you?
*I did say I would link to the original article at the bottom but you know what. Fuck it, I am not giving them the satisfaction of click through traffic or a link. They can do one. Google it.