Monday, 8 May 2017

Announcing the death of the unicorn

I am sorry to announce that at 12.01, on the 8th of May, the Unicorn was finally declared to be deceased.

The unicorn is no more.
It is an ex-unicorn.
It has ceased to be
It rests in peace.

The Unicorn died from a condition called, PUTTING IT ON BLOODY EVERYTHING.

Unicorn brushes, Unicorn doughnuts, Unicorn nails, Unicorn Frappe,

Unicorn fucking toast. TOAST? FUCKING TOAST? Are you shitting me? (and is it unicorn shit?) 

Don't get me wrong, I bloody love unicorns, but let's get real here. (unlike the goddamn unicorns) we have a habit of taking something and just RUINING IT.

We overdo it, we stick it everywhere until we are sick of it, and then we move onto the next thing and just suck that dry too.

Mermaids, they are COMING FOR YOU.


Do you know how I know the Unicorn craze is over?

Let me introduce you to the Unicorn Dildo...........
(Never thought I would type that, if i'm honest)

You know where you can stick that............................

Personally, I still love the unicorn trend, but I wish it was used more sparingly. STOP putting it EVERYWHERE. I beg you.

And leave the Flamingoes alone. Seriously, I don't even want to think about a Flamingo Dildo.

Do you?

Let me know your thoughts on these trends, Is the Unicorn dead? Is the Flamingo endangered?

Let me know.



  1. Ohhhmyyygoddddyesssss.
    I am tagged in at least 48 facebook posts a day about unicorn mugs/tshirts/brushes/memes/giveaways and I. AM. DONE.

    Robots and dinosaurs were always my thing. I had a couple of months of "fuck yeah unicorns" and for some reason THAT is the thing people remember. MAKE IT STOP.

  2. That is a seriously pointy didlo! Can't imagine that would comfortable. Though I love the spirals :P

    J x

  3. Nope, unicorns aren't dead. It's the whole, "I do believe in faeries, I do, I DO!" deal from Peter Pan. The more people that believe, the more they become real.
    Apart from the dido, that's just odd and bizarre and shouldn't be allowed.

  4. I hate that humans do this, it's awful. It's like "oh look, that's fun/cool/pretty/whatever, let's make EVERYTHING some variation of it."
    How about no? How about "yea, that's cool, let's enjoy it in moderation."
    Moderation is like a sodding foreign concept to most people now.
    I hate humanity!

  5. I love unicorns, however some of the bits that have come out I'm a little bit like, whaaaat the hell?Love, Amie ❤
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