Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Remember When I Could Breathe Through My Nose?

Can we just take a second to remember when I could breathe through my nose? Granted, it was yesterday but damn, I miss it. Now, the only thing I can smell is Olbas Oil, sadness and desperation and I’m pretty sure they are all me. (The old lady wee smell isn’t me, I don’t think) 

WHY oh why are colds so shit? Genuinely, you know when we say, “Oh, I’m ok, it’s just a cold”? Why do we do that? Colds are awful. Colds are just our bodies way of wringing out bodily fluids that seem to appear from nowhere. Where the hell does all that snot come from anyway? Is there a vat of it, continuously just bubbling away next to my stomach, waiting patiently until it is needed? Does it just spontaneously appear? Like an evil leprechaun dripping ooze and suspiciously green? 

At the same time, the mucus is only a part of it. Have we talked about the pure misery? Because I feel like SHITTTTTTT. I know it’s “just a cold” I know that soon I will be able to breathe through my nose again. (God, I miss that) but URGHHHHHHHHHH. Currently I am leaving a trail of snotty tissues around my house like some sort of twisted Hansel & Gretel, But can I find a clean tissue when my nose is dripping like a leaky tap? Of course I can’t. That would be too easy. 

Also, a quick side note and I am not saying I have done this, because this would be A STUPID THING TO DO, when you have a snotty tissue dipped in Olbas oil in one hand and you sit on the loo to go to the toilet. DROP THE BLOODY OLBAS SOAKED TISSUE so that you don’t get confused in your cold addled state and wipe your vajayjay with the wrong tissue. Trust me on this, you can thank me later. 

One of the worst bits about a cold is that you feel at your absolute worst, first thing in the morning and last thing at night, you know, when you actually have to get shit done or, I don’t know, try to sleep because you are poorly and want to collapse into bed. The last thing you need at these points when you are feeling ill is to feel like shit on a stick. If I am going to struggle through this cold can I have the worst bit either in the middle of the night when I am asleep, or in the middle of the day when I am feeling like a bad-ass bitch for making it this far. When I crawl out of bed, ready to face the day with 60 5yr olds I don’t wanna feel at my worst, Thanks. 

So yes, I guess this post is basically me saying I am poorly, it’s last thing at night right now. Of course I feel ill, I would FULLY appreciate some tips for getting through the next few days please as I don’t think I make a very good poorly person, 

What do you think? 

Let me know. 

Big Fashionista x x x 

1 comment

  1. I don't think people appreciate how bad colds get, you feel HORRIFIC. Get some Vic vapour rub in hot water and inhale over it.


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