Monday, 13 November 2017

Rules To Ride The Bus By

Now since starting my new job in September, I have become a bus wanker a fully paid-up member of the club of users of public transport.

Now, don't get me wrong. Buses are nice, I get to sit in a seat and someone else drives me to my destination, kindly picking up other bus wankers passengers along the way. It works.

A west Yorkshire Metro bus

BUT, I've noticed that since my daily commute began, I have become a creature of habit and this can be a bit of a problem. I have realised that I now have MY SEAT. This seat is perfect for me, I sit on the back row, on the lower deck, on the left hand side of the bus and it is the way I like it, until one day, SOMEONE SAT IN MY SEAT.

If you ever want to know what betrayal feels like, it is knowing that the bus driver didn't stop the bus immediately, get out of his cab and go up to the seat stealer and say, "Awfully sorry, but you must be new to this route, this seat is actually reserved for Kellie" The seat thief would have immediately apologised and MOVED OUT OF MY SEAT. Everyone would have laughed and we would all have lived happily ever after.

Instead, the driver DID NOTHING. NOTHING, he just carried on driving the bus, knowing FULL WELL that I would be boarding his chariot at exactly 6.53 and be left with a complex decision to make that NO-ONE should have to make pre-7am.

Do I ask them to move out of my seat? Obviously I have paid for it, it is not my fault that unlike trains, the bus service do not allow us to reserve our seats, (If you ever want to make that happen WY Metro, I will be the first to sign up) Do I sit somewhere else? But what if I inadvertently sit in someone else's reserved seat, what happens then? Anarchy, Anarchy is what will happen, I can tell you. Do I NEXT to the person who is sitting in my seat, making them feel uncomfortable enough so that they move at the first opportunity, fleeing the scene, leaving me free to slip into MY seat, or do I just accept the fact that they have overthrown my reign and it is their seat now. The Queen has been ousted, long live the Queen.

Decisions, decisions.

Who knew that riding the bus every day would be filled with such rules?

If you think the ride into work is bad, you should see my journey home, people are packed onto my bus like sardines, I am lucky enough to get onto the bus before the bus turns into a tin can filled with fishy treats but that just means that at some point, SOMEONE WILL SIT NEXT TO ME.

I cannot bear it. Especially if they don't follow the No 1 rule which goes,

If there are no spare 2 seats and you have to sit next to another passenger you don't know, the SECOND a 2-seat becomes free, YOU MOVE TO IT.

THIS IS A RULE AS OLD AS TIME, and yet I have lost count of the amount of people who sit next to me on the bus, sharing my seat as the bus empties out, leaving space for them to move and they still don't move. It makes me uncomfortable, MOVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Is using public transport every day destroying me, do we think?

Should I learn how to drive and save myself the stress of bus rules and non-reserved seating or do you fully understand where I am coming from?

Let me know.



  1. I feel like that about my seat on the train home! I get so irrate when I cant' sit there!!

    Squibb Vicious

  2. You are simply hilarious! I have the privilege of a car and a pass certificate in driving (through no effort of my own) and yet I suffer through similar tedious train journey's with blatant flouting of unspoken rules. Simply unacceptable. I hope the evil that is the person who has taken your seat soon realises their mistake.



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